Best
Brick (2005)
Brick takes all the elements of the classic film noirs of the 1940s and places them in a modern high school setting. What results is a surprisingly successful hybrid that is fully engaging. The plot is full of twists and surprises, the violence is sudden, realistic, and brutal, and our hero even wears glasses. While it takes a while to get used to the unique rhythms and dialog, it is still highly rewarding to those who are willing to make the effort to immerse themselves in the world it creates.
Worst
The Chronicles of Riddick (2004)
The trailer for this movie was intriguing. Frame after frame of enticing visuals promised a film in which a world of wonder would be unfolded before our eyes. Well, some of the visuals delivered as promised, but the story left much to be desired and then some. The filmmakers were too busy trying to come up with cool things to put in their movie and forgot to tell a cohesive story. Plot points are replaced with unmemorable fight scenes and a ludicrous sequence in which our heroes literally race the sunrise. On foot. Characters are little more than cardboard cutouts and the world presented in the movie is subject to the arbitrary whims of the filmmakers, with nothing fleshed out enough to create any kind of cohesive internal logic. Overall it is an overblown mess that is quickly forgotten.
Coming up next: A film that creates a wold of fantasy, wonder, and danger and one that tries to do it and fails.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Top and Bottom of the Aughts - #10
A new decade is upon us, so what better way to celebrate the new decade than to take a look back at the one we just finished? And what better way to do that than a top (and bottom) 10 list? So here we go, my humble readers, with the ten best and worst movies of the aughts.
(But first, a couple of honorable mentions.)
Honorable Mentions
The Passion of the Christ (2004) and Left Behind (2000)
I didn’t feel right putting these on either list. It felt like trivializing such a uniquely powerful movie to try to rank The Passion, and Left Behind is such an easy target it felt like picking on the kid in the wheelchair. And yet they have one interesting thing in common: they are both made by Christians primarily for Christians. (I suppose you could also argue that they are both based on best selling books.) But there the similarities end. The Passion of the Christ tells its story primarily through visuals on a rich canvas of light and shadow inspired by the renaissance artist Caravaggio. The project was a labor of love for director Mel Gibson, embarking on a spiritual journey, and if anyone decided to see his film, it was a bonus. On the other hand, Left Behind spends most of its running time talking at the audience and showing very little. The look of the movie is no more interesting than a made-for-TV movie. And the whole point of Left Behind seemed to be to try to dupe an unwitting audience into seeing what they thought was a supernatural thriller with international intrigue but was really a sermon on the eschatological dangers of not being a Christian. As a result, The Passion was widely seen all around the world and is one of the highest grossing movies of all time, while Left Behind never made it out of the Christian ghetto (and didn’t find a whole lot of success there either).
Best
Wordplay (2006)
There isn’t a whole lot of drama in this documentary, but that is in no way a detraction from this film about crossword puzzles and the people who do them. We are introduced to a wide variety of expert crossword puzzlers, from Tyler, the young college student studying computer science, to Al, a middle-aged family man who never seems to come in higher than third at the annual American Crossword Puzzle Tournament. We also get a parade of celebrity crossword enthusiasts from pitcher Mike Mussina to talk show host Jon Stewart, to both presidential election opponents Bob Dole and Bill Clinton. It gives insight into how the puzzles are made (with one actually being constructed right before our eyes), and challenges the audience to try to figure out clues before the solvers do.
Worst
Twilight (2008) and New Moon (2009)
The success of these movies is completely baffling to me. The first one is an exercise in pale people pausing in the middle of every sentence. It features an inexplicable romance between two people, one of whom looks like a creepy stalker who never learned what a comb is for, while the other takes bland to a whole new level. At least Twilight has a poorly done action sequence for a climax, New Moon doesn’t even have that. Instead we are treated to even more pausing and are introduced to a love triangle featuring a not-so-pale guy with impossibly sculpted abs. The film meanders while Bella broods, and I kept waiting for it to build up to something, and was still waiting when the credits started to roll. There is so much melancholy dripping off these movies that it is impossible to get excited about anything. AND WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO HAVE VAMPIRES SPARKLE IN THE SUNLIGHT!? On the plus side, they are very entertaining when viewed with two very excellent Rifftrax.
Coming up next: a film with minimal budget and lots of intelligence and one with a very large budget and almost no intelligence.
(But first, a couple of honorable mentions.)
Honorable Mentions
The Passion of the Christ (2004) and Left Behind (2000)
I didn’t feel right putting these on either list. It felt like trivializing such a uniquely powerful movie to try to rank The Passion, and Left Behind is such an easy target it felt like picking on the kid in the wheelchair. And yet they have one interesting thing in common: they are both made by Christians primarily for Christians. (I suppose you could also argue that they are both based on best selling books.) But there the similarities end. The Passion of the Christ tells its story primarily through visuals on a rich canvas of light and shadow inspired by the renaissance artist Caravaggio. The project was a labor of love for director Mel Gibson, embarking on a spiritual journey, and if anyone decided to see his film, it was a bonus. On the other hand, Left Behind spends most of its running time talking at the audience and showing very little. The look of the movie is no more interesting than a made-for-TV movie. And the whole point of Left Behind seemed to be to try to dupe an unwitting audience into seeing what they thought was a supernatural thriller with international intrigue but was really a sermon on the eschatological dangers of not being a Christian. As a result, The Passion was widely seen all around the world and is one of the highest grossing movies of all time, while Left Behind never made it out of the Christian ghetto (and didn’t find a whole lot of success there either).
Best
Wordplay (2006)
There isn’t a whole lot of drama in this documentary, but that is in no way a detraction from this film about crossword puzzles and the people who do them. We are introduced to a wide variety of expert crossword puzzlers, from Tyler, the young college student studying computer science, to Al, a middle-aged family man who never seems to come in higher than third at the annual American Crossword Puzzle Tournament. We also get a parade of celebrity crossword enthusiasts from pitcher Mike Mussina to talk show host Jon Stewart, to both presidential election opponents Bob Dole and Bill Clinton. It gives insight into how the puzzles are made (with one actually being constructed right before our eyes), and challenges the audience to try to figure out clues before the solvers do.
Worst
Twilight (2008) and New Moon (2009)
The success of these movies is completely baffling to me. The first one is an exercise in pale people pausing in the middle of every sentence. It features an inexplicable romance between two people, one of whom looks like a creepy stalker who never learned what a comb is for, while the other takes bland to a whole new level. At least Twilight has a poorly done action sequence for a climax, New Moon doesn’t even have that. Instead we are treated to even more pausing and are introduced to a love triangle featuring a not-so-pale guy with impossibly sculpted abs. The film meanders while Bella broods, and I kept waiting for it to build up to something, and was still waiting when the credits started to roll. There is so much melancholy dripping off these movies that it is impossible to get excited about anything. AND WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO HAVE VAMPIRES SPARKLE IN THE SUNLIGHT!? On the plus side, they are very entertaining when viewed with two very excellent Rifftrax.
Coming up next: a film with minimal budget and lots of intelligence and one with a very large budget and almost no intelligence.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Top and Bottom of 2009 - #1
Here it is, the best of the best and the worst of the worst.
Best
Up (2009)
The film starts with a montage, telling the story of Carl and Ellie: their courtship, marriage, and life together. It is a story of undying love, despite countless unrealized dreams, told solely through images and music. It is both beautiful and heart-wrenching, yet never sappy. Of course this would not be a true Pixar movie without it’s fair share of laughs, thrills, and quirky characters, and all three are in abundance. Of special note is the dog named Dug who is equipped with a collar that lets him speak. The animators and writers never fall into the trap of turning Dug into a human on four legs as many talking animals often end up. Instead, he fully retains his doggie-ness, saying things that I fully believe a dog would say if it could speak. This is a wonderful tale about friendship and adventure found in unexpected places, full of emotional highs and lows. And even when something happened exactly as I predicted, it still provoked an emotional response.
Worst
10,000 BC (2008)
After watching the trailer and seeing the billboards, I knew this would be a bad movie, and the movie did not disappoint. The characters are poorly defined with no one even approaching likeability. The geography is highly improbable, as our band of “heroes” travels from a tundra-like region, crossing snow-capped mountains, through a rain forest at the base of the mountains, ending up in the desert, traveling all of that distance in about a week. Each region is filled with giant CG creatures, none of which are terribly convincing. The climax of the film is anything but thrilling, and surprisingly small considering the rest of the movie’s epic aspirations. But the real kicker of the movie is that it is The Ten Commandments (1956) remade by Nietzsche. Instead of God rescuing a nation of slaves from tyranny, the slaves themselves rise up against and kill “God” (really an alien) and then go off to live their lives as they see fit. Ultimately, 10,000 BC passes over the “so bad it’s fun” designation into “so bad it’s painful.”
Coming up next: I'm not sure. I'm working on a couple projects that I hope to unveil here soon. I guess I can at least get a start on my 2010 Movie Odyssey.
Best
Up (2009)
The film starts with a montage, telling the story of Carl and Ellie: their courtship, marriage, and life together. It is a story of undying love, despite countless unrealized dreams, told solely through images and music. It is both beautiful and heart-wrenching, yet never sappy. Of course this would not be a true Pixar movie without it’s fair share of laughs, thrills, and quirky characters, and all three are in abundance. Of special note is the dog named Dug who is equipped with a collar that lets him speak. The animators and writers never fall into the trap of turning Dug into a human on four legs as many talking animals often end up. Instead, he fully retains his doggie-ness, saying things that I fully believe a dog would say if it could speak. This is a wonderful tale about friendship and adventure found in unexpected places, full of emotional highs and lows. And even when something happened exactly as I predicted, it still provoked an emotional response.
Worst
10,000 BC (2008)
After watching the trailer and seeing the billboards, I knew this would be a bad movie, and the movie did not disappoint. The characters are poorly defined with no one even approaching likeability. The geography is highly improbable, as our band of “heroes” travels from a tundra-like region, crossing snow-capped mountains, through a rain forest at the base of the mountains, ending up in the desert, traveling all of that distance in about a week. Each region is filled with giant CG creatures, none of which are terribly convincing. The climax of the film is anything but thrilling, and surprisingly small considering the rest of the movie’s epic aspirations. But the real kicker of the movie is that it is The Ten Commandments (1956) remade by Nietzsche. Instead of God rescuing a nation of slaves from tyranny, the slaves themselves rise up against and kill “God” (really an alien) and then go off to live their lives as they see fit. Ultimately, 10,000 BC passes over the “so bad it’s fun” designation into “so bad it’s painful.”
Coming up next: I'm not sure. I'm working on a couple projects that I hope to unveil here soon. I guess I can at least get a start on my 2010 Movie Odyssey.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Top and Bottom of 2009 - #2
Best
Mr. Hulot’s Holiday (1953)
This is essentially a silent comedy with sound effects as there is almost no dialog, and what little there is carries very little pertinent information. There are funny things going on all the time, but many of them are so subtle the audience can miss them if they are not paying attention. Even in the background, odd things are happening. There’s the bodybuilder who is always doing weird stretching exercises as he walks around, there is the elderly man who is always shadowing an elderly woman, there is the single song that seems to be on all the records, and the door to the dining room that makes a funny sound when it closes, much to the chagrin of the head waiter. Mr. Hulot is charming in this wonderfully pleasant film that is very rewarding if the audience is willing to give it their undivided attention.
Worst
You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (2008)
I knew this would be bad, being chock full of Adam Sandler “humor.” What I was not expecting were countless shots of Sandler’s bare behind and an overdose of perverse sexuality as Sandler’s Zohan has sex with every woman possible. And he is considered endearing for it! And then there are the numerous jabs a Mel Gibson. One or two might have been kind of funny and topical, but when they kept coming they were just beating a dead one trick pony. Ironically, I think the Jews should be more upset at this movie’s cartoonish portrayal of them than a single drunken midnight antisemitic rant from Mel Gibson.
Coming up next: The best of the best and the worst of the worst. Any guesses as to which ones those will be?
Mr. Hulot’s Holiday (1953)
This is essentially a silent comedy with sound effects as there is almost no dialog, and what little there is carries very little pertinent information. There are funny things going on all the time, but many of them are so subtle the audience can miss them if they are not paying attention. Even in the background, odd things are happening. There’s the bodybuilder who is always doing weird stretching exercises as he walks around, there is the elderly man who is always shadowing an elderly woman, there is the single song that seems to be on all the records, and the door to the dining room that makes a funny sound when it closes, much to the chagrin of the head waiter. Mr. Hulot is charming in this wonderfully pleasant film that is very rewarding if the audience is willing to give it their undivided attention.
Worst
You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (2008)
I knew this would be bad, being chock full of Adam Sandler “humor.” What I was not expecting were countless shots of Sandler’s bare behind and an overdose of perverse sexuality as Sandler’s Zohan has sex with every woman possible. And he is considered endearing for it! And then there are the numerous jabs a Mel Gibson. One or two might have been kind of funny and topical, but when they kept coming they were just beating a dead one trick pony. Ironically, I think the Jews should be more upset at this movie’s cartoonish portrayal of them than a single drunken midnight antisemitic rant from Mel Gibson.
Coming up next: The best of the best and the worst of the worst. Any guesses as to which ones those will be?
Monday, March 22, 2010
Top and Bottom of 2009 - #3
Best
Slumdog Millionaire (2008)
Is the story cliche? Maybe. Is the plot too contrived? Possibly. Is the film highly improbable? Most definitely. But it is still an immensely entertaining film about growing up and finding lost love, set to some snazzy music. Danny Boyle is in top form here, infusing every scene with his signature style, giving it an energy that would be lacking had a lesser director made this film. I also love his use of subtitles. Instead of relegating them to the bottom of the screen in a boring yellow text, they were placed all over the screen wherever there was empty space, often with a box around them to help separate the words from the background. My eye was naturally drawn to them, making them the easiest subtitles I have ever read. It was almost like watching a moving comic book (and I mean that in a good way).
Worst
Southland Tales (2006)
This movie is one giant mess. Nothing makes sense and writer/director Richard Kelly goes haphazardly from one scene to another with each new scene having little bearing on those surrounding it. And every time he tries to explain something it only makes everything more confusing. The characters are all either dull or so over the top that they are completely unbelievable. And since there is glaring Budweiser product placement in almost every scene, it felt like I was watching the most bizarre, confusing, poorly written, poorly acted, inconsistent, unbelievable, and downright dirty beer commercial I have ever seen.
Coming up next: two movies about a man who is just trying to get away from it all.
Slumdog Millionaire (2008)
Is the story cliche? Maybe. Is the plot too contrived? Possibly. Is the film highly improbable? Most definitely. But it is still an immensely entertaining film about growing up and finding lost love, set to some snazzy music. Danny Boyle is in top form here, infusing every scene with his signature style, giving it an energy that would be lacking had a lesser director made this film. I also love his use of subtitles. Instead of relegating them to the bottom of the screen in a boring yellow text, they were placed all over the screen wherever there was empty space, often with a box around them to help separate the words from the background. My eye was naturally drawn to them, making them the easiest subtitles I have ever read. It was almost like watching a moving comic book (and I mean that in a good way).
Worst
Southland Tales (2006)
This movie is one giant mess. Nothing makes sense and writer/director Richard Kelly goes haphazardly from one scene to another with each new scene having little bearing on those surrounding it. And every time he tries to explain something it only makes everything more confusing. The characters are all either dull or so over the top that they are completely unbelievable. And since there is glaring Budweiser product placement in almost every scene, it felt like I was watching the most bizarre, confusing, poorly written, poorly acted, inconsistent, unbelievable, and downright dirty beer commercial I have ever seen.
Coming up next: two movies about a man who is just trying to get away from it all.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Top and Bottom of 2009 - #4
Best
The Crimson Pirate (1952)
Burt Lancaster is electric as the pirate Captain Vallo in this highly entertaining swashbuckling romp that was clearly an inspiration for Pirates of the Caribbean. But even the charismatic Vallo is upstaged by Ojo, his captivating, non-speaking sidekick who is best described as a cross between Jack Sparrow and Harpo Marx. Together they get into one scrape after another, always the best of friends, and always fun to watch.
Worst
Howard the Duck (1986)
This could have been a fun ‘80s romp. Unfortunately, Howard’s wisecracks, Tim Robbins’ “scientist,” the hokey bad guy, and all other attempts at humor fell flatter than a pancake after being visited by a steam roller. And then there is the bizarre and unsettling scene when Lea Thompson tries to seduce Howard that is wrong on so many levels, especially in a movie obviously aimed at children.
(You know I've seen some really bad movies this year when something as infamously bad as Howard the Duck is only the fourth worst movie I saw all year.)
Coming up next: two very stylish movies, one of which is a slick work of art while the other is a confusing mess.
The Crimson Pirate (1952)
Burt Lancaster is electric as the pirate Captain Vallo in this highly entertaining swashbuckling romp that was clearly an inspiration for Pirates of the Caribbean. But even the charismatic Vallo is upstaged by Ojo, his captivating, non-speaking sidekick who is best described as a cross between Jack Sparrow and Harpo Marx. Together they get into one scrape after another, always the best of friends, and always fun to watch.
Worst
Howard the Duck (1986)
This could have been a fun ‘80s romp. Unfortunately, Howard’s wisecracks, Tim Robbins’ “scientist,” the hokey bad guy, and all other attempts at humor fell flatter than a pancake after being visited by a steam roller. And then there is the bizarre and unsettling scene when Lea Thompson tries to seduce Howard that is wrong on so many levels, especially in a movie obviously aimed at children.
(You know I've seen some really bad movies this year when something as infamously bad as Howard the Duck is only the fourth worst movie I saw all year.)
Coming up next: two very stylish movies, one of which is a slick work of art while the other is a confusing mess.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Top and Bottom of 2009 - #5
Best
Goodbye, Mr. Chips (1939)
Robert Donat is captivating in the role of a British school teacher who teaches Latin to generation after generation of Britain’s finest. We see him grow from being a green first-year teacher, easy target to practical jokesters, to being such a steadfast fixture at the school that even exploding German bombs are unable to keep him from having class. He is ready with words of wisdom for his students, never shy from administering discipline when it is called for, and always willing to build a relationship with his students outside of the classroom.
Worst
Species (1995)
You would think that a movie with Ben Kingsley, Alfred Molina, Forrest Whitaker, and Michael Madsen would at least have some potential, but unfortunately the promising cast is completely wasted on this dreck. The effects are gross, half the characters have no real reason for existence, the dialog is stilted and unnatural at best, and the climax is predictable and far from thrilling.
Coming up next: a movie that is a whole lot of fun, and one that could have been but failed miserably.
Goodbye, Mr. Chips (1939)
Robert Donat is captivating in the role of a British school teacher who teaches Latin to generation after generation of Britain’s finest. We see him grow from being a green first-year teacher, easy target to practical jokesters, to being such a steadfast fixture at the school that even exploding German bombs are unable to keep him from having class. He is ready with words of wisdom for his students, never shy from administering discipline when it is called for, and always willing to build a relationship with his students outside of the classroom.
Worst
Species (1995)
You would think that a movie with Ben Kingsley, Alfred Molina, Forrest Whitaker, and Michael Madsen would at least have some potential, but unfortunately the promising cast is completely wasted on this dreck. The effects are gross, half the characters have no real reason for existence, the dialog is stilted and unnatural at best, and the climax is predictable and far from thrilling.
Coming up next: a movie that is a whole lot of fun, and one that could have been but failed miserably.
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