Saturday, May 22, 2010

Top and Bottom of the Aughts - #5

Minority Report (2002)
Steven Spielberg creates a wonderfully realized futuristic film noir in which advertising has run horribly amuck and murders are stopped before they happen. There are jet-packs, snazzy holographic computer interfaces, and cars that drive themselves. There are thrilling chases, nail-biting suspense sequences, and some interesting questions about the nature of free will. It all adds up to an immensely fun ride with some very unexpected plot twists.

D-War (2007)
Where do I start with a movie like this? The story is silly, the screenplay is laughable, the acting is almost entirely wooden, none of the characters act believably, half the scenes end abruptly without any sort of reasonable conclusion, and to top it all off, it’s a story that is about Korean mythology with reincarnated Koreans, that takes place solely in modern day Los Angeles, with only one (minor) Asian character (who may or may not even be Korean). But wait, there’s more! Not only is Los Angeles being attacked by two dueling dragons, there is also an ancient Korean overlord (who looks as un-Korean as everyone else) whose sole purpose is to look menacing as a Sauron wannabe while he makes the blade of his sword appear magically from its hilt. He also commands hoards of undead soldiers that appear inexplicably out of nowhere and headquarters in a castle (also suddenly appearing out of nowhere) that is another complete ripoff of Lord of the Rings. I am very pleased that my prediction that there would soon be a Rifftrax for this derivative mess came true.

Coming up next: a little independent movie and a big-budget disaster.

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