My 2010 Movie Odyssey - Part VIII

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985)

Some of the elements in this film were quite interesting (the post-apocalyptic society created by Tina Turner as well as the Thunderdome itself) while others were far too farcical to be believed (the village of children and their prophesies). What results is a mixed bag in which the best elements are as good as what we saw in The Road Warrior (1981) while the worst ones are only good for Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Gold Diggers of 1933 (1933)

There are some amusing hijinks that occur as a group of actors try to put on a show during the depression. But the real reason to see the movie is the lavish musical numbers staged by Busby Berkeley.

Village of the Damned (1960)

This is a wonderfully creepy horror movie with a town that mysteriously falls asleep and loads of freaky children. It’s just too bad that the conclusions to these types of movies rarely measure up to their premises.

Nine (2009)

I went to see this film at the dollar theater. The film started with visions of South Africa. I quickly realized that they had put the wrong movie into the projector, and were actually showing Invictus instead. “That’s fine,” I said to myself. “I also wanted to see Invictus.” But after only about five minutes someone somewhere realized the mistake and changed the film to Nine. I probably would have been better off with Invictus. It’s not that there’s anything really wrong with the movie, it’s just that there was nothing in it that I liked. The characters were all selfish jerks, the look of the film was quite drab, and none of the musical numbers were interesting or memorable. Just about the only bright spot in the movie is Marion Cotillard as the long-suffering wife of Daniel Day-Lewis’ philandering movie director.

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

To be honest, the trailer didn’t entice me. It looked like cheap animation combined with yet another gratuitous celebrity voice cast. But what I got was an immensely entertaining movie with interesting characters, humorous animation, and a jaunty score.

Coming up next: three remakes/reimaginings and two really long foreign films.

My 2010 Movie Odyssey - Part VII

The Pit and the Pendulum (1961)

There were some interesting visuals, but this Roger Corman pseudo-classic used way too many narrative cliches to catch my interest.

First Blood (1982)

Sylvester Stallone creates an interesting character in John Rambo. The movie was a lot smaller than I was expecting but still quite entertaining. When I watched the film I had just had my car towed and so it was easy for me to identify with this man who was being picked on by the police for no good reason.

Rififi (1955)

It starts kind of slow and ends rather grimly, but the real reason to watch this film is the heist sequence that takes up most of the second act, is mostly silent, and is very thrilling.

The Road (2009)

While this interesting, moody, post-apocalyptic film creates a wonderful atmosphere and gives us a couple interesting characters, it gets bogged down by its slow pace as I kept waiting for SOMETHING to happen.

The Merry Widow (1934)

Most of the musical numbers are unremarkable in this Ernst Lubitsch musical. The real reason to watch it is the wonderful repartee and hijinks the characters get themselves into. Of special note is Maurice Chevalier as the biggest playboy in the kingdom who is very funny and an obvious influence on Pepe Le Pew.

Coming up next: a couple musicals that are worlds apart.

My 2010 Movie Odyssey - Part VI

Hmm, it's Thanksgiving and I'm talking about two horror movies and one pseudo-horror film. And a revisionist western. I guess I really should have released these yesterday. Oh well, happy Thanksgiving everyone! I'm thankful for hulu, Netflix, the Los Angeles County Public Library, and the dollar theater who have combined to make these entries possible.

Phantom of the Opera (1998)

Horror director Dario Argento takes the classic story and gives it the full-on horror treatment. While there were some interesting visuals, the whole thing comes across as silly and grotesque and not very scary, and the opening sequence is a complete ripoff of Batman Returns (1992).

The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976)

This is a pretty good revisionist western, and while Clint Eastwood is not quite in top form, it is still quite entertaining.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009)

The visuals are stunning (what else would you expect from Terry Gilliam?) and Christopher Plummer puts in a heart-tugging performance as Doctor Parnassus, the world-weary leader of a four-person traveling sideshow. While the rules of the world don't always make sense, it is a feast for the eyes that is well worth it. (Insert obligatory comment about this being Heath Ledger's final performance here.)

The Wicker Man (1973)

This is a bizarre little horror film that almost masquerades as a musical in the first half. Things start out unsettling and get progressively creepier as a policeman tries to track down the disappearance of a little girl on a remote island populated solely by unnerving cult members. This film is recommended for people who enjoy quirky horror films.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

Having seen all seven seasons of the television show, I was interested to see "the one that started it all" (sort of). I went in knowing that it would be a far cry from the television show, but even knowing that I was still let down. The comedy fell flat, the drama was unengaging, the villain was yawn-inducing, and to top it all off, Kristy Swanson was completely unconvincing as any kind of superhero and gave me absolutely no reason to care about her as a person.

Coming up next: some more dour fare. I wasn't intentionally watching all these types of movies at the same time but the do seem to want to clump together.

My 2010 Movie Odyssey - Part V

The Jacket (2005)

I was hoping for an interesting, mess-with-your-mind movie that kept me guessing through the very end. Instead I got a mediocre movie with some uninspired time travel.

A Christmas Carol (2009)

This may be the most cinematic version of A Christmas Carol ever made and the most visually stunning. On the other hand, Jim Carrey as an old man was weird (he should have waited 20 years to play Scrooge), Bob Cratchit just looked off, and the whole thing came off as rather emotionally shallow.

Catwoman (2004)

This movie is a series of dumb ideas. First of all, they completely threw out all of the Batman mythology surrounding the character of Catwoman and made up a completely new world around the character. So what was the point of calling it Catwoman? Then they cast the severely overrated Halle Berry as Catwoman. Then they dressed her in some bizarre, partially completed dominatrix outfit. The story is dumb and there are no interesting characters. There are, however, too many shots of cats for me to truly hate this movie, and Halle Berry acting all cat-like was actually a well-executed idea.

Cloverfield (2008)

I am glad I waited until DVD to see this movie. The concept is interesting and the camera-work is believable as found footage shot by an amateur. On the other hand, the single point of view got a little monotonous, and I would have liked to have a little more explanation for everything that happened.

Eight Men Out (1988)

This dramatization of the 1919 Black Sox scandal examines what it would take for prominent members of the best team in baseball to intentionally lose the world series. It is an interesting character study, and of course features lots of baseball. (Though I did find the movie a little frustrating in that I recognized almost all the actors but couldn’t figure out where I recognized them from, even after a trip to imdb.)

Coming up next: some classic and not-so-classic horror.

My 2010 Movie Odyssey - Part IV

These are long overdue. I should be getting more punctual in the future since I'm joining Procrastinators Anonymous tomorrow.

Pillow Talk (1959)

This is an amusing romantic comedy with a romance that could only exist in Hollywood. There is no way a relationship between these people would ever last in real life.

Up in the Air (2009)

I’m not sure what it is about Jason Reitman’s films, but I find myself really enjoying them, even when the subject matter is not something that would normally interest me. I think what it is is that they are just askew enough from the mainstream Hollywood fare to be fresh and different without falling into the “quirky for the sake of being quirky” trap that plagues far too many independent films. Case in point is Up in the Air, which features George Clooney as a man whose job it is to fly all over the country and fire people. Not only does he consider his services an art form, but he has worked hard to turn traveling into an art form as well, honing his lifestyle and possessions to the point where he can get into and out of the airport with the greatest ease. While the premise of the film is certainly topical, it never swells up with Importance, letting its audience draw its own conclusions.

Where the Wild Things Are (2009)

The look of this movie is fantastic, beautifully translating Maurice Sendak’s artwork to the big screen. Too bad nothing worthwhile happens in this beautiful world. The first time we see our young hero Max, he is wrestling with a dog (while growling like an inarticulate idiot), and doing it so violently that I was waiting for the dog to bite him out of self defense. I am not a dog person, but at that point I was more emotionally involved with the dog than with Max. And Max never did win me over, acting like a punk kid through the whole movie. And when he runs off and enters the world of the monsters, I was expecting them to be older and wiser than Max and teach him valuable life lessons, but instead they were all just as emotionally immature as he was. This left me with no character to latch on to and twenty minutes into the movie I was ready for it to be over.

Where Eagles Dare (1968)

A crack team of Allied officers is sent on a mission to rescue a captured general from the Nazis in the days leading up to D-Day. The hitch: the general is being held captive inside a nearly impregnable castle deep inside German territory. While the number of plot twists in the third act gets a little ridiculous, this is a rip-roaring adventure yarn that features a thrilling cable-car sequence as its centerpiece.

Zodiac (2007)

San Francisco is rocked by a series of murders committed by the mysterious Zodiac killer. He taunts the authorities and creates a city-wide panic by sending cryptic messages to the major San Francisco newspapers. The scenes featuring Zodiac’s murders are full of tension and dread. But this is not so much about a serial killer and his reign of terror as it is a character study of three men who are faced with a mystery that is never solved. Their quest to discover the identity of the Zodiac goes from a desire to bring him to justice to just simply being obsessed with finding out who did it.

Coming up next: more overdue mini reviews.

How Sweet It Is

1993 marked the end of an era. Nolan Ryan, the greatest strikeout pitcher of all time, was pitching his final season. It also marked the beginning of an era, though one of less import to the national scene. In the summer of 1993 my family moved to Dallas. Having not made many friends and still waiting for the moving van to arrive with most of our stuff, we were looking for something to do. So someone decided to turn on the Ranger game. I had enjoyed watching baseball and considered myself a baseball fan, but growing up overseas meant I had no chance to follow a team or really consume anything baseball related. At that point I could maybe name half of the major league teams but didn't know any player names other than Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, and Mickey Mantle.

All that changed the summer of 93. Suddenly I had a team. I was immediately drawn to Juan Gonzalez (Hey, that's just like Speedy Gonzalez!) and Ivan Rodriguez (Hey, that's the same last name as the kid in The Sandlot!).* But though it was their names that initially drew my attention, it was the way they played the game - Gonzalez with his bat, Rodriguez with his glove - that held it. They were my first official sports heroes.

*Growing up in Papua New Guinea means that you don't learn things like Gonzalez and Rodriguez are common Hispanic last names.

It has been a long eighteen years, full of highs and lows (and it seems more lows than highs). But through it all I have remained faithful to my Rangers. Even a move to Southern California did not shake my allegiance. The local team that made it to the playoffs six times over the past decade did not cause my loyalty to waver. And now for the first time I can proudly say that the Rangers are headed to the World Series!

But it is more than that, because they advanced by beating the Yankees, and beating them decisively. "What's so special about the Yankees?" you may very well ask. "Sure they have the highest payroll in baseball, have a rich, storied history, and carry two notable former Rangers on their roster, but you know you're going to face the best teams in the playoffs." True. But to get a proper perspective, we have to go back to 1996.

1996 was a good year for the Rangers. The team won 90 games. Juan Gonzalez won his first of two MVP awards. Manager Johnny Oates was the co-winner of the Manager of the Year award. But what really made 1996 so special was that it was the first time in team history that the Rangers made the playoffs. Our first opponent was the Yankees. Game 1 was beautiful with the Rangers winning decisively with a score of 6-2. Unfortunately, things went downhill from there. Game 2 went into extra innings and the Yankees squeaked out a victory 5-4. The Rangers were leading game 3 until the ninth inning when the Yankees scored two unanswered runs, beating the Rangers 3-2. Game 4 was tied through six innings until the Yankees scored a run in both the 7th and 9th innings. Final score: 6-4. And the Yankees advanced to the next round. And yet games 2-4 could have gone either way, and probably would have had the Rangers lineup produced. Juan Gonzalez sure did his job. He hit .438 (which is exceptional, for those of you not in the know) with 5 home runs and 9 RBI. The rest of the team combined for a .190 batting average (which is pitiful), 1 home run and 7 RBI. Had the rest of the lineup not rolled over and died, the Rangers would have won the series easily. And of course it didn't help that the Yankees proceeded to waltz over the competition on their way to the World Series title.

Two years later we made the playoffs again. And once again we faced the Yankees in the first round. The Yankees won the series 3-0. The scores: 2-0, 3-1, 4-0. That's right, we held one of the most potent lineups in baseball to an average of three runs per game. Unfortunately, once again our just-as-if-not-more potent lineup decided it didn't like the thought of running the bases. In the second round the Cleveland Indians fared worse, giving up an average of 4.5 runs per game, and in the World Series, the San Diego Padres gave up a whopping 6.5 runs per game. The Rangers posed the biggest challenge to the Yankees that year, yet all they get out of it in the history books is "also ran" status.

And it was the same story in 1999. The Yankees won 8-0 (OK, I'll admit that one was decisive), 3-1, and 3-0. The pitching (a notorious weak spot historically for the Rangers) once again did its job in keeping the Yankee bats in check yet the Ranger bats (almost always among the best in the league) stayed home. So for the third time in four years the Rangers were little more than footnotes in postseason history while the Yankees went on to win it all.

The following years saw the Rangers aspiring to mediocrity. Alex Rodriguez, their best player, practically begged to get out of Texas. A few years later their best player did it again in the form of Mark Teixeria. They both ended up in Yankee pinstripes. Talk about adding insult to injury.

And so we find ourselves eleven seasons later, and after far too many false steps on the part of management, the Rangers are once again in the playoffs. I did not want to face the Yankees in the first round and this time it worked out and we faced off against the Tampa Bay Rays. And this time we were the victors. But the Minnesota Twins did not do their job and they let the Yankees advance. I began preparing myself for a disappointing series. I was afraid that my boys would crumble under the mystique that surrounds the Yankees. Yet the Rangers emerged victorious, and resoundingly so. Their smallest margin of victory was 5 runs. They scored twice as many runs as they surrendered. They hit more home runs. They stole more bases. With the exception of one game and one inning, they completely dominated the Yankees who are now heading back to New York with their tails between their legs.

I don't know what the future holds for this team (or even at this point who they will face in the World Series) but I am proud of my team and pleased with their accomplishments, and the way they are playing now, they can lick anyone that comes up against them.

So I think I've earned the right to say:

Rangers rule and Yankees drool!

Not to mention,

The Rangers Are Going To The World Series!

100 Greatest Movie Moments - Part IV

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
The bad guy drinks from the wrong grail and ages 100 years in 50 seconds. When his body has faded to dust, the grail guardian comments, “He chose poorly.”

Beauty and the Beast (1991)
“Be Our Guest.”

Dead Alive/Braindead (1992)
The main character uses a lawnmower.

The Player (1992)
The opening tracking shot.

Jurassic Park (1993)
The T-rex attacks the jeeps.

The Sandlot (1993)
Squints puts the moves on the lifeguard.

Schindler’s List (1993)
Oskar Schindler watches a girl in a red coat walk through the ghetto as Nazi soldiers clean it out.

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
Andy plays a beautiful Mozart aria over the loudspeakers in Shawshank prison.

Apollo 13 (1995)
Ed Harris sits down.

The Usual Suspects (1995)
Verbal Kint leaves the police station.

Mission: Impossible (1996)
Ethan Hunt must steal a file from an ultra-secure CIA computer, all in complete silence.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie (1996)
Mike and the bots riff on their own credits.

Saving Private Ryan (1998)
The sniper takes out an enemy sniper. Through the sniper’s own scope. While quoting Scripture.

The Matrix (1999)
The camera swoops around Trinity in mid-kick.

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Darth Maul pulls out his lightsaber.

Toy Story 2 (1999)
Buzz Lightyear lands on an alien planet and infiltrates Zurg’s lair.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000)
Michelle Yeoh and Zhang Ziyi duke it out in a room full of weapons.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Boromir’s death.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
Smeagol has a conversation with Gollum.

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
The lighting of the beacons.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Captain Jack Sparrow’s entrance.

The Incredibles (2004)
Dash discovers he can run on water.

The Phantom of the Opera (2004)
The chandelier rises and the opera house is transformed from old and run down to its appearance in its glory days.

Children of Men (2006)
Soldiers and terrorists alike stop fighting at the sound of a baby’s cry, the first time they’ve heard it in almost twenty years.

Enchanted (2007)
Giselle turns Central Park into the setting of a giant musical number.