My 2011 Movie Odyssey - Part IX

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

I liked the first movie and was an apologist for the second movie, but I can’t do it any more. The movie is loud and obnoxious, most of the humor falls flat, and for a movie that claims to be about the Transformers, there are an awful lot of long sequences that don’t even feature them. I’d love to see more Transformers movies, but they really need to start from scratch and hire a director who is more interested in plot than with explosions.

Mildred Pierce (1945)

I enjoyed this noir-ish mystery and the character of Mildred Pierce is fascinating, but I wanted to strangle her daughter Veda (though to be fair, that’s the response I was supposed to have).

Whip It (2009)

I mostly liked this movie, though I am disappointed by how much better it could have been. Ellen Page’s character is the only one we really get to know, and while I know a little bit more about how roller derby works, the film never fully explains how the sport works. That being said, it was still quite enjoyable, and for a girl power movie you could do a whole lot worse.

Thor (2011)

It is a fun movie, but I found it hard to fully accept Norse gods running around the mostly realistic world already created by the Iron Man movies (even with the mumbo-jumbo about them actually being interdimentional aliens).

Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)

This black comedy is fairly amusing. The main reason to watch it is to see Alec Guiness play all eight members of an old, aristocratic British family.

Capturing the Friedmans (2003)

The Friedman family is turned upside down when loving father and husband Arnold Friedman is found to have child pornography in his possession. But then things spin wildly out of control as a slew of additional accusations are leveled against him. They are despicable. And yet almost all of them fail the "let's think about this for a minute" test. This fascinating documentary takes complicated subject matter and leaves the audience to try to determine what the real truth is.

The Watcher in the Woods (1980)

I was brought up on the live action Disney films of the 70s and 80s, and have seen most of them. But there were still a few glaring holes in my Disney watching history. That, coupled with an anemic Netflix queue, led me to start filling those holes. The Watcher in the Woods has some wonderfully creepy moments and looks great. Even if the ending left me wanting, it was still an enjoyable journey.

In Search of the Castaways (1962)

It starts out really funny. A science professor goes through a series of misadventures in an attempt to sneak himself and the two children in his care onto a boat bound for exotic locales. This opening act is really entertaining, and Maurice Chevalier is instantly likeable as the professor. But then the globetrotting adventures start, and I found it increasingly difficult to suspend my disbelief since the situations our group of adventurers found themselves in got increasingly far-fetched.

Babe: Pig in the City (1998)

This is a charming movie full of wonderfully quirky characters and excellent animatronic work. I especially liked the look of the film with it's warm, slightly stylized aesthetic that reminded me a lot of Amelie and the television show Pushing Daisies.

The Cat from Outer Space (1978)

It's kind of That Darn Cat meets Escape to Witch Mountain, and is a whole lot of fun, even if it gets a little silly at times. The plot revolves around a scientist who teams up with the cat from the title to collect the materials the cat needs to repair his space ship. Of special note is Harry Morgan as the army general who is in charge of tracking down the alien; nobody can do gruff comedy quite like him. And of course the film is further proof that cats make wonderful movie characters. I really wish there were more cat movies out there.

My 2011 Movie Odyssey - Part VIII

Thunderball (1965)

It’s James Bond, doing James Bond things. Really, most of the James Bond films, while entertaining, start to all look the same after a while. The only thing really separating this one from the others is the climactic underwater battle at the end. But while it is well-choreographed and very ambitious, everyone moves at half speed since they are underwater, and much of the energy is lost.

Sweet Smell of Success (1957)

Everyone in this movie is a mean slimeball looking to advance themselves in society so they can be even bigger mean slimeballs.

Wait Until Dark (1967)

Audrey Hepburn is amazing as a blind woman who unknowingly gets caught up with a group of drug dealers. There is plenty of thrills and suspense throughout the movie, and the way Hepburn’s character finally deals with her antagonists is wonderful.

The Big Heat (1953)

This is one of the first “obsessed cop does whatever it takes to bring down the bad guys” films and also one of the best. Glenn Ford stars as Dave Bannion, a cop on a mission to take down a local drug lord. Along the way he encounters damaged dames, truly evil thugs (especially the one played by Lee Marvin) and corruption that goes all the way up to the police commissioner. I especially liked the scenes of Bannion interacting with his wife; they are so warm and amusing they paint a wonderful portrait of marital bliss in the midst of an otherwise very dark movie.

Troll 2 (1990)

Every once in a while a movie comes along that is famous for being so bad. This movie is so inept that someone made a whole documentary about how bad it is. First of all, there is not a single troll to be seen in this movie. Instead we get a town full of goblins. The goblins look like cheap Halloween costumes and apparently their favorite food is half human half plant. The acting is bad across the board, especially Deborah Reed as the goblin queen, who chews so much scenery that it’s a wonder there was a set left by the end of the movie. All the characters are idiots, none of them even approaching likability. And then there is the script, full of clunky dialog and loads of “as you know, Bob” exposition. But the absolute best part of the movie comes during a car trip. Mom tries to cheer up her son by getting him to sing. “Sing that song I like so much.” Taking a page from Manos: The Hands of Fate, I mockingly started singing “Row, row, row your boat.” And then the kid started singing. “Row, row, row your boat...”

Time Runner (1993)

Mark Hamill tries his best to break away from Luke Skywalker, but unfortunately he’s just not a good enough actor to pull it off. The story is pretty mediocre and the time travel elements don’t really work since the screenwriters never really bothered to set rules and follow them.

Cars 2 (2011)

Is it the weakest Pixar movie to date? Yes. Does that mean it’s a bad movie? Absolutely not! While the story is pretty pedestrian, there is plenty of imaginative eye candy on the screen. In many ways it reminds me of the opening sequence of Toy Story 3 - we get to see inside John Lasseter’s mind as he played with his toy cars as a child.

Super 8 (2011)

This movie does an excellent job of capturing the feel of a late 70s/early 80s Steven Spielberg movie. It is also just as entertaining.

Young Mr. Lincoln (1939)

I like how this isn’t an origin story trying to tell the story of how Abraham Lincoln became Abraham Lincoln. Instead, it’s merely a chapter in the life of someone who eventually goes on to become a great American. The bulk of the movie centers on a court case where Lincoln is defending a couple young men who are accused of murder. Henry Fonda is a joy to watch as Lincoln, and he commands the screen wonderfully, both in dramatic courtroom scenes as well as quiet moments with the family of the young men accused of murder.

High Sierra (1941)

I liked Humphrey Bogart’s character of a gangster who just can’t seem to make it in the outside world. But I couldn’t stand the stupid dog that Bogart adopts, who gets way too much screen time and always brings trouble to the people around him.

My 2011 Movie Odyssey - Part VII

The Italian Job (1969)

It started out kind of slow, and it was difficult keeping straight who all the different characters were and what was really going on. But then the infamous car chase started and the movie instantly skyrocketed from mediocre afterthought to minor classic. It is so much fun watching a trio of Mini Coopers evade the authorities through city streets, across the Italian countryside, and even on top of a building.

McCabe & Mrs. Miller (1971)

This is an ugly, depressing story about unpleasant, unhappy people who wallow in an unclean world (until the bathhouse/brothel gets up and running, making the uncleanliness more metaphorical). I didn't like anyone in the film, and the background music was both out of place and annoying.

Never Let Me Go (2010)

It's kind of like The Island (or Parts: The Clonus Horror, if you prefer) with all the chases and explosions replaced with character development and musing on the human condition. With no special effects wizardry to worry about, the film is able to explore what life would really be like for people who grow up knowing that they will one day have their organs harvested from them. What results is a melancholy story that I found surprisingly engaging and beautiful as the film asks, "How do you live your life when you know your time is limited?"

Blindsight (2006)

This movie tells the tale of an expedition to take a group of Tibetan teenagers and have them hike the mountain that is right next door to Mount Everest. The kicker: the teenagers are all blind. Throughout the film we get to know the teenagers, their troubles and ambitions, as well as their handlers on the journey and several family members. It is heartwarming as the team conquers each obstacle, tense as the leaders have to make the hard decisions about whether to continue on when half the group is suffering from altitude sickness, and heartbreaking as various parents try to reconcile their child's blindness with their Buddhist beliefs.

Evil Dead II (1987)

It has its moments, but it's mostly 84 minutes of gross violence that is sometimes scary.

In a Lonely Place (1950)

Humphrey Bogart is rather unlikeable as a screenwriter who tries to clear his name when he is the prime suspect in the murder of a young woman. To be honest, I'm not that fond of doomed love stories.

The Way Back (2010)

I really wanted to like this movie. Peter Weir has directed two of my favorite movies (The Truman Show and Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World) and I've been anxiously waiting for his next movie for several years. Unfortunately, it was a long, arduous movie whose characters never really distinguish themselves from one another. There were a few sequences that really worked, especially a cleverly edited montage at the end, but for a true story about a group of men achieving the impossible, the whole thing was rather flat.

Charlie, the Lonesome Cougar (1967)

This simple little Disney film is kind of charming as it tells the tale of a cougar who is raised by a group of loggers. It’s the type of thing I would have liked as a kid, though I’ve kind of outgrown such stories.

Reds (1981)

This movie can’t decide what kind of a movie it is. It starts with a series of real life people talking about journalist and communist John Reed and his girlfriend/lover/not wife Louise Bryant. Then we get Warren Beatty and Diane Keaton running around as Reed and Bryant, doing the things that the talking heads were just talking about. Then we get more talking heads. Then another dose of Beatty and Keaton. Just pick one: documentary or biopic. And at over three hours, the movie is interminably long. The filmmakers really needed to remove the talking heads (or even better, the Beatty and Keaton melodrama) to give the movie a more taut running time. Of course then I started to wonder what was the purpose of even having this movie at all. I disagreed with almost everything Reed said, and the relationship stuff was an unending cycle of fighting, moping, and making up.

I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang (1932)

It is a tragic story, but the screenplay works so hard to paint the protagonist in the best light possible that it quickly loses any semblance of a reasoned argument. The film is still worthwhile as a historical document, but it has not aged well. And Paul Muni is the 1930s version of Sean Penn, and I don’t mean that in a good way.

My 2011 Movie Odyssey - Part VI

The Testament of Dr. Mabuse (1933)

There are some interesting images in this early talkie from Fritz Lang that would have been better as a silent film.

The Country Girl (1954)

Grace Kelly goes plain and won an Oscar in this OK movie. Wait, what am I saying? Grace Kelly is supposed to illuminate the screen in gorgeous gowns by Edith Head. This is a terrible movie.

Three’s a Crowd (1927)

Having seen most of the important silent comedies from Keaton, Lloyd, and that other guy, I was interested in checking out the work of Harry Langdon. My first foray into his films was a major disappointment. The movie is not very funny and the plot is seriously flawed. But the biggest issue I have with the movie is one of missed opportunities. There is a comically long flight of stairs leading up to Langdon's apartment, which he does absolutely nothing with. Chaplin would have walked up and down the stairs in a funny way, Lloyd would have almost fallen off them, and Keaton would have built a whole sequence around them, but Langdon lets them sit there begging to realize their comic potential.

The Chaser (1928)

Fortunately there were two Harry Langdon movies on the disc, and The Chaser was quite funny. Langdon manages to make doing mundane housework and even just sitting there very funny. The plot is rather ridiculous, but I enjoyed Langdon's performance and am eager to check out more of his work.

The Fly (1958)

Constructed more as a murder mystery than a monster movie, The Fly is very entertaining and manages to avoid being hokey like many of its contemporaries. And the final scene is still quite chilling.

King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962)

This movie is terrible. King Kong looks like a man in a bad monkey suit and his face makes him look incredibly stupid. The fight scenes are uninspiring, the models look like models, and the whole idea of electricity making King Kong stronger is just laughable.

Samurai Cop (1989)

This is a gloriously bad movie. The action scenes fail at being thrilling or believable, the cinematography is shoddy, the dialog is awful (with lines like, “I will bring you his head and I will place it on your piano.”), and it even features Robert Z'Dar and his incredibly huge face. Samurai Cop's sidekick can't decide if he's the stoic silent type, or the wise-cracking black guy, and he manages to pick wrong in every single reaction shot. But the best part about Samurai Cop is the Samurai Cop's hair. The actor sports gloriously long 80s locks, but halfway through filming he cut his hair, so wears cinema's worst wig for half the movie. The great thing is that it switches back and forth between real hair and wig throughout the movie, even in the middle of some scenes.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)

This is the kind of movie tailor-made to win cinematography awards. It looks great. Unfortunately the film is way too long for its own good and drags far too often, especially in the final act.

Monster Camp (2007)

This documentary tries to tell the real story behind the people who participate in Live-Action Role Playing (or LARPing), but the production value is amateur, the subjects aren't particularly interesting, and it never manages to really explain how LARPing works or tell much of a story.

Little Caesar (1931)

Maybe its just too much of a precursor, but I found the story to be unengaging and the tough-guy dialog felt hokey. I guess I only like my classic gangster movies to star James Cagney.

My 2011 Movie Odyssey - Part V

Strange Invaders (1983)

This is a rather forgettable movie that is neither funny enough for a spoof of 50's B-movies nor affectionate enough for an homage.

Let Me In (2010)

This American remake of Let the Right One In brings very little in the way of anything new to the material. In fact, its so similar that there's very little reason to see both versions. (Though I would vote for the first one not only because it was the first, but also because the remake uses a false inciting incident: taking an exciting scene from the middle of the movie and putting it at the beginning to hook the audience then throwing up a "Three Months Earlier" title.)

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

The movie was not nearly as bad as I was expecting it to be. If you go in with low enough expectations, it's actually kind of fun.

The Killer (1989)

The main reason the see this movie is the copious amount of gloriously over-the-top gun battles.

Cube (1997)

Six strangers find themselves in a maze-like building of identical rooms. There they must figure out how to survive the deadly traps that are found in most of the rooms and ultimately escape. There's plenty of tension and the various traps are rather inventive, but the whole thing is overly grim, both with the characters and the ending.

A Serious Man (2009)

I didn't like any of the characters and all the bad things that kept happening to the main character just got ridiculous. I expect more from the Coen Brothers.

The Nutty Professor (1963)

I am just not a fan of Jerry Lewis. This is supposed to be his best movie, yet I found both versions of the professor to be woefully unfunny.

Trafic (1971)

While not as good as Jacques Tati's other films, there are still plenty of amusing moments as he tries to get an experimental vehicle to an auto show.

Henry V (1989)

I now know the context for the “Band of Brothers” speech.

Boys Town (1938)

Spencer Tracy as Father Flanagan is really awesome and the idea of a Boys Town is a really interesting one (especially once I learned that it is a real place), but Mickey Rooney's troubled youngster was a bit too much of a caricature for me.

My 2011 Movie Odyssey - Part IV

Ooh! Blog posts two days in a row! I'm going crazy! (Or something.)

When Worlds Collide (1951)

In a precursor to Deep Impact, a rogue planet is on a collision course with Earth. The only way for the human race to survive is to build a space ark and be off Earth when the planets collide. What follows is an interesting and at times intense story of human ingenuity and survival, with both the best and worst of humanity on display.

127 Hours (2010)

James Franco does a one man show through most of the movie as a hiker who gets his arm trapped by a boulder and has to cut it off in order to get free. Franco does an admirable job carrying the movie and the amputation scene is fittingly unsettling. The only real flaw in the film are the occasional dream sequences featuring other people; they break the tone of isolation that is one of the film's strongest features. (It also contains what may be my favorite burp in movie history.)

eXistenZ (1999)

This movie tries to keep the audience guessing as to what is reality and what is not, but I stopped caring about half-way in and the ending left me extremely dissatisfied.

Aeon Flux (2005)

The story is rather silly, but the fight scenes are choreographed well and it has an interesting look.

Unknown (2006)

Five men wake up in a warehouse all suffering from amnesia. It's fascinating to watch as they try to figure out who they are and why they are there, and which of them are the good guys and which are the bad guys. There are a few flashback scenes and a few flash sideways, but the bulk of the movie (and all of the interesting stuff) takes place within the warehouse.

Hercules (1983)

I remember seeing the ending of a Hercules movie some time ago that featured as its climax Hercules going into space and turning into bad animation to defeat the bad guy. It was really bad and I was interested in seeing the whole thing. I hoped this would be it, but sadly it wasn't. Fortunately, it was as bad as I remembered the other one being. Lou Ferrigno stars as the worst Hercules I've ever seen. From the neck down he actually looks like Hercules should look, but his face is too soft to be convincing as a hardened warrior. Add to that wooden acting and only one facial expression of dull bemusement and Ferrigno brings the world of beefy action stars to a new low. Herc fights ridiculous, laser-shooting mechanical monsters, travels from one place to another for no apparent reason, duels King Minos with a light saber, and gets huge. The screenplay has no narrative cohesion with things happening merely due to the screenwriter's whim. This is the worst Hercules movie I've seen. (And it has a sequel!)

The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949)

The first half of the movie tells the tale of Mr. Toad from The Wind in the Willows. While there's nothing bad about it I found the whole thing rather flat. Things get much better in the second half, which tells the tale of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. It is dark, atmospheric, a little scary, and very entertaining.

Winter’s Bone (2010)

High schooler Ree has to make sure her father makes a scheduled court date so the family won't lose their house in an isolated Ozark community. Jennifer Lawrence puts in a strong performance as Ree, as she tries her best to keep her family together. What I found most fascinating about this movie is more about what isn't there. There are big things going on with drug dealing but we see almost none of it. Instead, the filmmakers take a minor character from a film noir and make her the hero of her own little story.

The Good, the Bad, the Weird (2008)

This Korean re-imagining of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is wild and full of energy. However, I never really latched on to any of the characters and the ending was unsatisfactory. Recommended mostly for fans of Asian cinema and spaghetti westerns.

Tron: Legacy (2010)

I love the 1982 original and was really looking forward to the second chapter of the Tron saga. Unfortunately, the whole thing fell rather flat. The messianic themes of the original are replaced with eastern mysticism. The action sequences were overblown and many felt like they existed just to throw flashy imagery at the audience. In many ways, Tron: Legacy reminds me of The Matrix Reloaded in that it took the unique, original vision of its precursor and expanded it but did it in a way that made everything more muddled and far less interesting. And CG young Jeff Bridges just looked wrong.

My 2011 Movie Odyssey - Part III

Micmacs (2009)

While not as good as Amelie or some of his other earlier work, Jean-Pierre Jeunet still infuses this film with plenty of quirky characters and lots of his unique visual and narrative style. The whole movie ends up being quite fun.

Things to Come (1936)

As a vision of the future, the movie is pretty interesting, predicting what life will be like from 1936 to 2036. It's fun to compare what they got right and what was wildly inaccurate. Unfortunately, it's rather boring. Since it covers so much time the characters keep dying off to be replaced by new characters, depriving the audience of anyone to really latch on to. And the movie is so preachy in its anti-war message that it manages to sap any remaining energy right out of the film.

Shallow Grave (1994)

Danny Boyle's directorial debut is full of unhappy people doing unpleasant things to each other; a real downer of a movie.

MirrorMask (2005)

I give the movie points for creating a new world but take them all back for its visual style. Everything is distorted in a grotesque way and half the time I felt like I was watching the movie through a dirty pane of glass. The plot is little more than a twisted retelling of Alice in Wonderland, and the plot twists were either cliched or contrived.

Blood Simple. (1984)

Several sequences are very well crafted but the overall bleak tone of the movie kept me from enjoying it.

Die Hard 2 (1990)

This seems little more than a bad episode of 24. I found some of the plot twists unexpected, but only because they were really dumb.

It Came from Outer Space (1953)

There's little in this movie to separate it from all the other alien invasion movies of the 1950s.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)

As I expected, the movie was a little too long and slow and didn't have a satisfying ending. This is the problem with telling a story in two parts that was never designed to be split up. I can't pass final judgement until I see Part 2, but right now I feel that there should be just one really long movie. (And they still left too much for Part 2.)

Catfish (2010)

What starts out as a rather unremarkable documentary about a photographer quickly escalates to being almost a thriller about the way people choose to present themselves to the world.

The Kid Stays in the Picture (2002)

This is an interesting look into the life of Robert Evans, one of Hollywood's most celebrated producers. My main problem with it is that of the four movies that get the most attention, The Godfather is the only one I like and I utterly loathe Love Story and Rosemary's Baby.

My 2011 Movie Odyssey - Part II

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Me, I am thankful for movies from the good to the bad, in their wide-ranging genres and subject matters.

Exit Through the Gift Shop (2010)

This is a fascinating look at the world of street art and the artists who make it. It starts with a montage of street artists plying their craft - some clever, some vulgar, and some outright vandalism - all while a song plays in the background declaring that “Tonight the streets are ours.” Then we are introduced to Thierry Guetta a clothing shop owner/documentarian/aspiring street artist. He’s quirky, full of life, and enjoys almost unlimited access to some of the biggest names in street art. But when he starts doing his own street art it’s derivative and repetitive (and most if not all of the actual artwork is done by other people). What results is a wonderfully entertaining look at several interesting people and the work that they do, even when their art is completely illegal.

Alien Nation (1988)

It tells an interesting story about racist attitudes towards the alien population in America, but it would have been better if the violence had been toned down and the fun factor increased.

Invaders from Mars (1953)

It has some wonderfully creepy moments in the first half hour as aliens take over the minds of various townspeople, but the end is rather unspectacular and not very distinguishable from similar efforts from Roger Corman or Burt I. Gordon.

Dogtooth (2009)

Nominated for a Best Foreign Language Oscar and available on Netflix streaming, I thought I would check this movie out. I should have stayed away. It tells the tale of a family who isolate themselves from the world. The parents use scare tactics and misinformation to keep their children inside their little compound. Why? I have no idea because the movie never bothered to tell me. I kept waiting for something to happen to shake things up, and it finally happened in the last couple minutes of the film. But instead of exploring the implications of the first real plot development of the movie, they decided to roll the credits instead.

Metropia (2009)

This animated movie has an interesting noirish look, and the individual frames look really good. Unfortunately, the animation leaves much to be desired. The characters reside squarely in the uncanny valley - the human models are wonderfully detailed, but they move so little and unnaturally that the filmmakers might as well have just filmed Barbie dolls bouncing across the screen. The story tries to be a dystopia along the lines of The Matrix, but ends up making little sense, and none of the characters are particularly memorable either.

Ip Man (2008)

This is a fictionalized account of Ip Man, a martial arts master who trained Bruce Lee (and many others). The first half is a whole lot of fun featuring plenty of martial arts hijinks in a largely pre-industrial Chinese town. Then the Japanese invasion of WWII happens, and the film takes a decidedly serious turn. Ip Man and his fellow countrymen struggle to get enough food to feed themselves while still maintaining their honor in occupied territory. Ip Man is fascinating to watch, both in moments of quiet dignity and when he is laying down some martial arts smack-down.

The Secret of Kells (2009)

This beautifully stylized animated film tells a fictionalized account of the creation of the Book of Kells. The film takes many visual cues from the artwork in the Book of Kells, leading to a movie that looks like a moving illuminated manuscript.

Earth vs. the Flying Saucers (1956)

It's better than a Roger Corman movie, but not by much.

The King’s Speech (2010)

This is a well made movie that smacks a little of Oscar porn. There's not a whole lot that I loved about the movie, but really the only thing I didn't like about the film is that I felt they focused on the wrong character. Colin Firth's character is only interesting because he is a prince who stutters; take those two things away from him and he's rather dull. Geoffrey Rush, on the other hand, is quite engaging as the speech therapist who manages to help Firth overcome his speech impediment. Had they focused on his character instead, the movie would have been far more interesting.

Unstoppable (2010)

This is a fun action movie that wasn't as cliched as I was expecting it to be, though the ending was a bit of a letdown.

My 2011 Movie Odyssey - Part I

Now that November is half over, I really ought to start posting my movie odyssey. This year I've been much worse than usual about keeping up with my thoughts on the movies I watch. So far I've seen 132 movies this year for the first time but only have 55 blurbs written. (Somewhat in my own defense, I have been working on other projects.) But at least one of you likes reading these, so here is the first installment.

The Social Network (2010)

This is a slick movie that is full of energy. The opening scene between Mark Zuckerberg and his soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend is immediately arresting with dialog so quick it would make Howard Hawks proud. The conversation continually goes on tangents then loops back around in a way that reminded me of reading a comment thread on facebook. Jesse Eisenberg is electric in the role of Mark Zuckerberg, graduating from “poor man’s Michael Cera” status to becoming a force to be reckoned with. The Social Network is engaging all the way through, with fascinating characters, memorable performances, and a taut script, all held together masterfully by director David Fincher.

Exam (2009)

Eight people are in a room prepared to take a test that will determine which one of them will be given a high-profile job. The only problem: when they turn their test papers over, there is nothing written on the other side. The entire film takes place in the exam room, and it is fascinating to watch the candidates as they try to figure out what the rules are and what it is that they need to do.

The Proposal (2009)

Sandra Bullock is fun to watch (as always) and there are a few laughs, but there is nothing in this film to distinguish it from the rest of the romantic comedy crowd.

Black Swan (2010)

This visually striking tale about a ballerina's descent into madness features strong performances from its three leading ladies, a compelling story, and lots of beautiful ballet. I just wish it hadn't decided to go into weird sexual territory.

This Film Is Not Yet Rated (2006)

I was hoping that this would be an honest documentary about the merits and flaws of the MPAA rating system. Unfortunately, it was actually a 97 minute rant against the MPAA's puritanical view of sexual content, completely missing the fact that the MPAA rating system exists for the movie- going public, not the filmmakers.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

There were a couple interesting visual touches, but overall I was bored with the endless scenes of teenagers running and screaming.

Tangled (2010)

This is a really fun movie. The animation is gorgeous and features several wonderful moments of pure character animation (with the animators constantly coming up with new and inventive uses for Rapunzel's hair), the songs are all pleasant (though none of them are particularly memorable), and Rapunzel spends most of the movie barefoot. Really, what's not to like?

True Grit (2010)

The 1969 original is one of my favorite westerns, so the Coen brothers' version had a lot to live up to, and they delivered a fine remake. Roger Deakins’ cinematography was beautiful as always and Matt Damon played a much more interesting LaBoeuf than Glen Campbell’s take on the character. But The Dude cannot hold a candle to The Duke.

Innerspace (1987)

This was mostly fun, rather silly, and very 80's. To be honest, I find it hard to believe that Dennis Quaid’s character had any friends at all based on how he always acted.

Darkman (1990)

It’s an interesting take on superhero tropes, but it was too dark and angry for my tastes.

An Ode to Theatre

As far back as I can remember, I have enjoyed being in theatrical productions. They have ranged from Sunday school dramas* to high school productions to community theatre. I have had lead roles and roles of one just one line. I have worked backstage, and even co-directed. And I have thoroughly enjoyed almost every minute of it. By my count I have been a part of over thirty different productions.

The other day I started wondering why it is that I enjoy doing theatre so much, and the first thing that came to mind is that I enjoy watching and being part of the process of a show coming together. It starts with auditions. There is always a feeling of both excitement and dread on the day of auditions: excitement because I may finally be able to play the role I always wanted, dread because I may end up getting saddled with a boring role that doesn't give me anything to work with. I eagerly watch the others as they audition, casting the show in my head and trying to figure out who the director will cast in each role (and in the process try to figure out which role I will get).

Once the show has been cast, there are the first few awkward rehearsals. We don't know what we're doing, we're doing it with a bunch of strangers, and we're doing it on a bare stage (or maybe not even on a stage at all). But as rehearsals progress, lines are memorized, the set starts showing up piece by piece, and the cast gets comfortable with each other and starts working together as a unit. Even when I'm not on stage, I like watching the director work with the other actors to create a scene and am genuinely happy for them when it comes together. The first time we run through the entire show without stopping is always a momentous occasion. Sure everyone screws up at least once, and the whole thing is very rough and way too long, but we just proved to ourselves that we can do it. When the costumes show up, you find yourself actually standing next to Belle, instead of an actress saying all of Belle's lines.

When the tech crew arrives for the last week of rehearsals, it feels like the family is finally complete. Now we have someone to give us light or darkness as needed, and someone to operate our mics and any music. We may have people working backstage, manipulating props and set pieces so the actors don't have to.

Opening night is the culmination of all our efforts.** We now have an audience to laugh, cry, and applaud. By this time, all the jokes have become stale to us, so it is refreshing and invigorating to learn that we are still being funny and that the audience likes it. And there's nothing like listening to an audience sniffle as they try to hold back their tears, or gasp at a shocking or scary moment.

Some philosopher (and probably more than one) said something to the effect that life is not about the destination but the journey. This is definitely true for me when it comes to theatre. For me, the rehearsal period is the Thanksgiving dinner while the performances are the piece of pumpkin pie for dessert. Sure it's nice, but what I'm really there for is the turkey, rolls, and mashed potatoes. It's fun to watch a ragtag bunch of misfits become a well-oiled machine.

But even more than watching the whole thing come together, the thing I think I like the best about doing theatre is that it gives me the opportunity to be an indispensable part of a whole greater than myself. A production of Romeo and Juliet needs both a Romeo and a Juliet, and those are the roles that most people want. And yet, though he has only four lines, the Apothecary is just as integral a piece to the play as Romeo or Juliet. And the beautiful thing is that the guy playing Romeo cannot play the Apothecary. Nor can Juliet. Nor can anyone else in the play.

And what's even more awesome is that the actors can't do it without the tech crew. Even those so-called one man shows have a team of technical people behind them. And having been both an actor and a techie, I know that while the actors may look down on the techies, thinking they are only techies because they are not good enough to be actors, the techies know that the actors are not smart enough to be techies.

I once had the opportunity to be part of a production of The Foreigner. I was part of the crew. My entire job was to stand backstage during the climax to do some special effects. I was busy for only about five minutes of the entire run of the two hour show. But all the actors were on stage at the time, so none of them could do it. And the other people in the crew weren't in a position to be able to get backstage to do it. So even though I was needed for only five minutes of the show, I was still a vital part of the production. And I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

*Ever since I heard it, I have hated the word "skit." It sounds willfully unprofessional - something merely to kill time or appease the kids and not something that aspires to be a work of art. If I had my way it would be removed from the English language entirely. It also doesn't help that it is one letter away from being a profanity.

**Two opening nights in particular stand out in my memory. The first was a production of Rivers and Ravines my freshmen year in high school. It was a cast of all freshmen. Our rehearsals were rough, and we had never made it through the entire show without stopping. And to top it all off, we had to replace one of our actors in one of the major roles at the last minute. Standing backstage with the other actors, I finally understood phrases like "The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife." I could literally feel the tension pressing down on me so much that I had to get away from everyone for fear of it affecting me. Then the show started, and we rocked! The second was a production of Calamity Jane my senior year in high school. This time I was the last-minute replacement for a major role (though I did have a week to learn it, unlike the guy in Rivers and Ravines who only had about a day). The euphoria I felt when the lights went down after the final scene and the applause started was unlike any I have felt before or since. For the usual feeling of "We did it!" was combined with my own personal "I did it!"

The Baseball Season Cometh

The start of the baseball season is four days away, and I can't wait. I'm getting my fantasy teams in order and looking forward to the games in which my favorite teams crush my hated teams. Which teams are those? Well, I'll tell you. Here are three teams that I want to succeed this year and three teams I want to fail.

Teams I Want to Succeed

1 - Texas Rangers

This should be no surprise to anyone who read my blog post from October 22nd last year. I have followed the team for almost twenty years and I have no plans to stop. And now they have an American League pendant to show for their efforts. But even if they had finished in the cellar last year, they would still top this list and many more in years to come. Here's hoping they go all the way this year.

2 - Los Angeles Dodgers

I freely admit that this is a choice of convenience and a bit of bandwagon hopping. I officially moved to the LA area in 2004. During that time the Angels were enjoying an impressive streak of success atop the American League West. Most of my friends were Angels fans. It would have been easy to switch allegiances and only my family would have thought less of me. But I held my ground. But there was this other team in town, one that played in the National League. Much like the Angels, though to a lesser degree, they were enjoying a nice run of success. Having no official ties to any other National League teams, I decided to officially pledge allegiance to Dodger blue. And it sure didn't hurt that their best player has the same name as me.

3 - Tampa Bay Rays

For their first ten years of existence, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays were the laughingstock of Major League Baseball. They were bad. Really bad. But in the spring of 2008, amidst the hoopla of them exorcising the Devil from their name, I took a long hard look at their roster. To my surprise, I realized that they had quite a collection of quality and intriguing young talent across the board. I figured that at this point they had the experience to put it all together and finally play some serious baseball. I was right, and they went to the World Series that year. Ever since that Spring I have enjoyed pulling for the David in Tampa Bay to defeat the Goliaths in New York and Boston.

Teams I Want to Fail

1 - New York Yankees

They are the Evil Empire. They beat my Rangers the first three times the Rangers made it to the postseason. They overpay for players which drives the market up and takes players I want for my teams. And then if these contracts go sour due to poor performance, they are not handcuffed financially and can go out and make more overpriced acquisitions. And the attitude I get from the Yankees Nation is one of entitlement - as if they deserve to win the World Series every year, and when they don't it is as if they have been denied their birthright.

2 - San Francisco Giants

They are the sworn enemies of my Dodgers, going back to the days when they both played in New York. They beat my Rangers in the World Series. At this point I'm pretty much contractually obligated to hate them. Besides, giants are for slaying and are always bad guys. (And anyone who tries to bring up my favorite band to counter my argument, I should point out that they are not giants, they only might be.)

3 - Milwaukee Brewers

I actually don't have anything personal against the team. However, this year is a now-or-never year for them. They have several key players who will be free agents at the end of the season, so if it looks like they won't make the postseason, they are going into selling mode. Players they might be willing to trade to my Rangers: first baseman Prince Fielder, pitcher Zack Greinke, pitcher Shaun Marcum, and possibly pitcher Yovanni Gallardo. I also wouldn't mind it if the Florida Marlins floundered for similar reasons, as they have the wonderful pitching duo of Josh Johnson and Ricky Nolasco.

Top and Bottom of 2010 - #1

Best

Baseball (1994)

Ken Burns’ loving yet epic documentary tells the story of baseball through the twentieth century. It chronicles the sport from its humble beginnings all the way to the mega-franchises of today, with numerous highs and lows along the way. There is plenty of talk about Babe Ruth, Ted Williams, and Ty Cobb, but it also examines the way baseball existed outside the major leagues, with plenty of time devoted to the Negro leagues. And when scandal strikes baseball, there is no angry finger pointing or blanket pardons for the guilty parties. Instead, the scandals are treated fairly and the predominant tone is one of sorrow that they marred the face of baseball and hope that we have learned from these mistakes so they will not happen again. The men and women interviewed in the film range from former players to sports writers to broadcasters to fans of the game. I would call this a love letter to baseball, except that description falls far too short of the amazing accomplishment that Baseball is. All 19 hours of it.

Worst

New Moon (2009)

I thought that this would at least be an improvement over Twilight. After all, they replaced the original director with the director of the snappy About a Boy so at least the plodding pace would be sped up. No such luck. The incessant pausing in mid-sentence by every single main character was amplified. We also get what pretends to be a love triangle for Bella whose talent for being vapid reaches new heights. I kept waiting for something to happen. And waiting. And waiting. And then there was a glimmer of what might be mistaken for some rising action and I thought, “Now we must be getting to the explosive climax.” But instead of something happening the credits just rolled. The climax was so uninteresting that I completely missed it and I had to think back and figure out what it was supposed to be. At least the first one had a poorly-staged action piece for a climax, but the only suspense in New Moon came from waiting to see if anyone could get through a complete sentence without a giant pause.

Top and Bottom of 2010 - #2

Best

Toy Story 3 (2010)

Toy Story 2 is one of my favorite films of all time. As in top 20. Maybe top 10. So Toy Story 3 had a lot to live up to. While not quite as good as its predecessor, Toy Story 3 is still quite good. The wizards at Pixar deftly juggled Toy Story's huge cast of characters as well as half a dozen new ones. The story delves into themes just touched on in Toy Story 2, dealing with what happens to toys when their owner outgrows them. There are thrilling chases, plenty of laughs, and an exquisitely orchestrated "prison break." And while the action climax may fall short of previous Pixar efforts, the final scene packs such an emotional wallop that any faults the film may have are instantly forgotten.

Worst

Twilight (2008)

Fortunately I watched this with protection,* otherwise I probably would have done irreparable damage to either my eyes or the TV, or both. Bella is a completely uninteresting character, and why she shuns all the high school boys, who generally come across as a fun and interesting group, to instead fawn over the creepy-looking Edward who has no social skills and who apparently has never seen a comb in 200 years of existence, is never adequately explained. She should be calling the cops, not foisting her presence on him at every possible moment. AND WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO HAVE VAMPIRES SPARKLE IN THE SUNLIGHT!? The inane story, flat performances, and erratic camera work combine to form one of the most inexplicable phenomena of the last few years.

*Commentary track from Rifftrax featuring Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett.

Coming up next: the best of the best and the worst of the worst. Any ideas as to which ones they will be?

Top and Bottom of 2010 - #3

Best

Inception (2010)

I don't know how he keeps doing it, but Christopher Nolan has hit it out of the park again. This is essentially a con man/heist movie, but it masquerades so well as a trippy mind game movie that the audience is willingly taken in. There is eye candy galore, thrilling action sequences, and a wonderfully executed zero-g hallway battle.

Worst

Eclipse (2010)

There actually are enough elements here to make a good movie: a reluctant alliance between a group of sparkly leech men and a tribe of shape shifters, an evil leech man raising an army of fellow leech men, and two-thirds of a love triangle that are forced to work together to protect the woman they love. Unfortunately all the potential is squandered. Characters’ motivations are unclear, the dialog is clunky, new plot developments are not sufficiently set up, and everyone (except the breath of fresh air Anna Kendrick) suffers from giant pause-itis. Apparently Bella is really important for some reason or another, but the director, the screenwriter, and actress Kristen Stewart never show us why. Things might make more sense if I read the book, but a movie should never rely on the book to make its sense for it.

Coming up next: the beginning and the end.

Top and Bottom of 2010 - #4

Best

Gojira (1954)

This movie is much better sans dubbing and Raymond Burr. Godzilla is downright scary, partly due the to the fact that we don’t actually see him until half way through the film. His immense size and incredible strength make him a virtually indestructible killing machine, and that is before he unleashes his radioactive breath. The scenes showing the aftermath of his destruction are shocking and grim, on par with the best war movies. There is a love story that is little more than filler and the means of Godzilla’s demise are classic B-movie silly science, but when it comes to pure terrifying destruction, Godzilla can’t be beat.

Worst

2012 (2009)

I went into this movie ready to nurture some deep hate towards this movie (after all, my opinions of Roland Emmerich’s other “masterpieces,” The Day After Tomorrow and 10,000 B.C. are well documented here) and right off the bat the movie delivered. I was treated to a series of disjointed scenes that are supposed to give the audience a sense of dread, but instead left me silently screaming at the screen, “Just get on with it!” The worst scenes involve respected scientists telling high ranking officials that something really bad is about to happen, but the screenwriters go so far out of their way to keep the really bad something a secret that it all ends up being awkward and forced. Then, fifteen minutes into the movie, we are finally introduced to our main character, played by John Cusack. After it is firmly established (and then some) that he is a bad father and estranged from his kids, he learns that the world is going to end, but that there is a secret government conspiracy that is planning to keep humanity alive. Then we get far too many contrived scenes of driving really fast while being chased by a crack opening up in the earth. Then, once Emmerich decides that driving away from a crack in the ground isn’t good enough, they graduate to a plane and have daring escapes flying through toppling buildings while the earth disintegrates. (Though, correct me if I’m wrong, but can’t airplanes go up? So shouldn’t they have been able to just fly over the tops of the crumbling buildings without a care in the world?) Then it just happens that John Cusack is a chauffeur for a rich guy who has a “get out of the end of the world free” card, so Cusack & Co. join up with him and they get in an even bigger plane and fly through an even bigger crack in the ground. Interspersed throughout all this thrilling stuff are scenes of characters around the world who pop in and out of the movie at random, and I think we are supposed to care about them, but since Emmerich does not invest anything in these characters, neither does the audience. Even when the characters die horribly, the scenes are far more likely to induce yawns than tears. After countless scenes of improbable coincidences and contrived tension (due mostly to the scientists saying, “Oops, we miscalculated, and the world will end tomorrow instead of a week from now; actually, cancel that, the end of the world is six hours away; no, wait, it’s more like thirty minutes”), Cusack & Co. finally make it aboard a giant ark that is designed to weather the storm and save humanity (after all the expendable characters are killed off, of course). And did I mention the politicians who are demonized merely for being pragmatic? Ultimately, 2012 wishes it was Deep Impact with a heavy dose of The Day After Tomorrow, sprinkled with a spoonful of Titanic, but The Day After Tomorrow is the only movie it managed to not be vastly inferior to.

Coming up next: the biggest fanboy and fangirl movies of 2010.

Top and Bottom of 2010 - #5

Best

How to Train Your Dragon (2010)

I saw the trailers (and teaser spots during the Olympics) and nothing really grabbed me. "This is just another in the long line of lackluster Dreamworks ilk," I thought. But then everyone started raving about this movie and I felt that I had to see it. I have rarely been so happy to be wrong. The film is full of engaging characters (especially the main character Hiccup, who has a wonderfully dry humor) and the humor doesn't cater to the lowest common denominator. The story went in some unexpected places and the resolution was completely satisfying. The main dragon is immediately endearing and the scenes of flying are thrilling. The only real complaint I have with the movie is that so much time is spent at the beginning talking about how Vikings kill dragons because dragons kill Vikings, they should have driven that point home with an actual onscreen death.

Worst

The Happening (2008)

The movie starts out promising as the people of New York City start killing themselves in the quickest, most efficient ways possible. The scene is creepy and even a little funny in a morbid sort of way. But things quickly go downhill. We are introduced to a science teacher played by Mark Wahlberg who is going through some sort of marital problems with his wife played by Zooey Deschanel. The screenplay never really explores what is wrong with their marriage, and neither character is particularly interesting, which gives the audience absolutely no reason to care. But our intrepid couple do not have much time to dwell on their issues, because whatever caused the New Yorkers to start killing themselves is rapidly spreading across the east coast. Whatever it is appears to be airborne, so they find themselves running away from the wind. That’s right, The Wind. Scary. The group of people Marky Mark escapes with depletes faster than the cast of a Roland Emmerich film and soon just the hapless couple and the girl they are babysitting are the only ones left. And then a completely different movie starts as they find themselves at an isolated farmhouse inhabited by a crazy lady (who of course just happens to be a religious conservative). No character does anything interesting and every new turn the plot takes is more ridiculous than the last. I usually try to be very sensitive about spoilers, but at times the big twist or explanation at the end is so absurd, so laughable, so idiotic that I feel like I am doing my audience a favor by spoiling it. This is one of those instances. The thing causing all this mayhem and death is not some sort of biological weapon. It is not a terrorist attack. No, it is plants, conspiring against humanity to release deadly toxins that are only harmful to humans. The more I try to wrap my head around this explanation, the more ludicrous it becomes. See? I told you I was doing you a favor.

Coming up next: two movies featuring heavy doses of large-scale destruction.

Top and Bottom of 2010 - #6

Best

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009)

The visuals are stunning (what else would you expect from Terry Gilliam?) and Christopher Plummer puts in a heart-tugging performance as Doctor Parnassus, the world-weary leader of a four-person traveling sideshow. While the rules of the world don't always make sense, it is a feast for the eyes that is well worth it. (Insert obligatory comment about this being Heath Ledger's final performance here.)

Worst

Ultraviolet (2006)

This movie is an absolute mess. It strings one violent action scene after another, held loosely together by something masquerading as a plot involving vampires, a golden child that may save the world, evil government, and some kind of a cure for something or other. The whole thing is rather hazy since most of the plot made absolutely no sense to go along with zero character development. This is a very disappointing followup for director Kurt Wimmer after the underrated Equilibrium.

Coming up next: two groups of people who are struggling to survive against natural elements that are trying to destroy them en masse.

Top and Bottom of 2010 - #7

Best

Wonder Man (1945)

Danny Kaye gets to play two roles: a slick nightclub entertainer and his bumbling bookworm twin brother. Both are very funny and they each get a couple fun musical numbers, giving Kaye the opportunity to play both suave and neurotic to the hilt (both of which he does excellently). Wonder Man stands proudly beside The Secret Life of Walter Mitty and The Court Jester as one of Kaye’s most entertaining roles.

Worst

Cutthroat Island (1995)

Geena Davis is woefully miscast in this mess. She is far too quiet and mousy to be believable as a bloodthirsty pirate queen and looks embarrassingly out of place every time she tries to fight. None of the characters are interesting or likeable in any way, and all attempts at humor fall flat. Half the dialog consists solely of grunts and cries. And then there are the action sequences which have so little regard for the laws of physics (almost every cannonball explodes in a giant fireball) that they lose any semblance of credibility.

Coming up next: two movies that transport the audience into a uniquely visual world.

Top and Bottom of 2010 - #8

Best

The Blind Side (2009)

Sandra Bullock is a force of nature as a WASPy wife and mother who takes an African American high schooler into her home, almost on a whim, because he had no other place to stay. What follows is a wonderful movie about unconditional love and how it can change the lives of not only the recipient but the giver as well. This is one of the best examples of feel-good cinema done right.

Worst

AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004)

The Alien franchise is full of scares, a sense of dread, and lots of R-rated violence. The lesser Predator franchise is full of new and interesting weapons that do lots of R-rated violence. Alien vs. Predator is full of uninteresting characters, silly ideas, and a distinct lack of R-rated violence. What's so important about the R-rated violence? It's an in-your-face demonstration of how powerful and dangerous the Aliens and Predators are. Tame the violence, tame the monster. And then there is an imprisoned Alien queen and a Predator that has to get assistance from a human, both of which further serve to defang the monsters. And what's with all these Aliens being on earth to begin with? One of the major issues of all four Alien films is "We can't let this thing get to earth. Ever." But apparently they were here all along. Yet all the damage this movie does to its parent franchises could be overlooked if it was any good. Unfortunately, that is not the case. There are no memorable characters, and they spend most of their time running around a pyramid so full of perils and booby traps that it never achieves even a modicum of believability. And what’s with the pyramid? Apparently, thousands of years ago the Predators came to earth and taught ancient civilizations how to build pyramids because there is no way humans could have figured out how to build something as massive as the pyramids with stone age technology. What a dim view of human ingenuity.

Coming up next: a slick movie and an obnoxious one.

Top and Bottom of 2010 - #9

Best

Play Time (1967)

There is no real story to speak of here, merely a series of extended comedic set-pieces enacted almost entirely through the visuals. Jacques Tati as Monsieur Hulot wanders though a sterile, state-of-the-art office building, then through the streets and shops of Paris, and ends up at the grand opening of a restaurant where almost everything goes wrong. There are some wonderful gags sprinkled throughout the film: an elderly doorman confounded by an ultra-modern button panel that is a complete mystery to him, a head waiter and his misadventures with an unglued floor tile, a poor waiter whose uniform gets more and more disheveled as the evening wears on, and a plate glass door that isn’t there anymore. The pace of the film is almost maddeningly slow, leaving the audience to seek out the comedy instead of having it spoon-fed to them.

Worst

The Wicker Man (2006)

Nicholas Cage wears a bear suit, punches women, and screams ridiculous lines in this remake that fails in just about every aspect that the original succeeded. Where the original is creepy, this one is boring. Where the original is suspenseful, this one is silly. And while the original has an interesting religious discussion, this one creates an unnecessary back story for Cage’s character that only serves to confuse matters. To fully experience how special this movie is, I direct you to this video.

Coming up next: two unlikely matches.

Top and Bottom of 2010 - #10

Here we go with the 10 best and worst movies I've seen all last year. Any guesses as to which films come in at number one?

Best

The Hurt Locker (2008)

This is a truly intense tale of three soldiers whose job is to defuse roadside bombs in Iraq. Jeremy Renner is riveting as Sergeant First Class William James, the man who actually does most of the dirty work. His unorthodox methods and casual attitude put him at odds with his more by-the-book compatriots, especially when it becomes apparent that he has become addicted to the adrenaline rush of defusing bombs. As the end of their deployment inches closer and closer, the audience holds its breath, hoping against hope that they will manage to survive each new day. Director Kathryn Bigelow keeps the tension level high throughout the film, deftly conducting the disarming of each new bomb so that each one is unique and has its own brand of terror.

Worst

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)

Having seen all seven seasons of the television show, I was interested to see "the one that started it all" (sort of). I went in knowing that it would be a far cry from the television show, but even knowing that I was still let down. The comedy fell flat, the drama was unengaging, the villain was yawn-inducing, and to top it all off, Kristy Swanson was completely unconvincing as any kind of superhero, giving me absolutely no reason to care about her as a person.

Coming up next: Two men who find themselves completely out of place.

My 2010 Movie Odyssey - Part XXV

Eclipse (2010)

This is the best of the Twilight movies so far, but that is like saying bleach is the tastiest household cleaner. There actually are enough elements here to make a good movie including a reluctant alliance between two factions that are historically at war with each other. Unfortunately all the potential is squandered. Characters’ motivations are unclear, the dialog is clunky, and everyone (except the breath of fresh air Anna Kendrick) still suffers from giant pause-itis. Apparently Bella is really important for some reason or another, but the director, the screenwriter, and actress Kristen Stewart still have yet to show us why.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010)

I had no idea what to expect with this movie. The book is extremely episodic, which makes it very difficult to translate to the screen and as a result this is definitely the weakest of the Narnia films so far. The added characters did little more than get in the way, the story often felt rushed, and the inclusion of a quest to find a bunch of swords made me feel like I was watching a video game. There were also times when the screenwriters opted to write their own dialog when Lewis’s original words would have worked just as well or better (and never once did the Dufflepuds exclaim “Keep it up, Chief!”). But there is still a lot to like in this movie. The production design looks great, Will Poulter (of Son of Rambow fame) is perfect as Eustace, and the newer take on Repicheep as a pint-sized Cyrano de Bergerac is well done. The best part of the movie is watching the relationship between Eustace and Repicheep grow from bitter antagonists to best friends. And almost all faults were forgiven when Aslan uttered one of my favorite lines from the books at the end.

Baseball (1994)

Ken Burns’ loving yet epic documentary tells the story of baseball through the twentieth century. It chronicles baseball’s humble beginnings all the way to the mega-franchises of today, with numerous highs and lows along the way. There is plenty of talk about Babe Ruth, Ted Williams, and Ty Cobb, but there is also plenty of time devoted to the Negro leagues and to the way baseball existed outside the major leagues. I would call this a love letter to baseball, except that description falls far too short of the amazing accomplishment that Baseball is. All 19 hours of it.

Baseball: The Tenth Inning (2010)

A lot has happened in the baseball world since 1994, so Ken Burns decided to make a sequel to his epic documentary. This time it was a little different for me since I started following baseball in 1993, so I lived through everything the film chronicles. All the important things are here: Roger Maris’ record falling to Mark McGwire whose record in turn fell to Barry Bonds, Hank Aaron’s record falling to Bonds, Cal Ripken Jr. outlasting Lou Gehrig, and the Red Sox finally winning the World Series (twice). But the largest chunk is devoted to the steroids scandal. What could have been a very angry and vindictive treatment was instead sorrowful and introspective, trying to understand why and how it happened instead of pointing fingers. There were a few things that I wish they had included (most notably Ricky Henderson, Ivan Rodriguez, and fantasy baseball) but overall it is a nice followup to a great film. The only true misstep comes at the beginning when it chronicles the despair of Giants fans who root for a team that has never won a World Series, made obsolete since I just watched the Giants beat my Rangers in the World Series just two months prior.

A Cry in the Dark (1988)

This is the heartbreaking tale of a family which is forced to deal with a personal tragedy under intense media scrutiny. It is also a scathing indictment of how the media can quickly turn heroes into villains almost on a whim and can take a simple story and blow it completely out of proportion.

Being There (1979)

Peter Sellers is charming as a simple-minded gardener who becomes a national voice of wisdom through a series of misadventures. The film is quiet fun with the only drawback being a scene where a character masturbates that is supposed to be played for laughs but is completely out of place with the rest of the movie.

Coming up next: my top and bottom 10 lists from last year kick off.

My 2010 Movie Odyssey - Part XXIV

Renaissance (2006)

The stark black and white imagery was interesting for the first ten minutes, but as the movie wore on I found myself longing for some shades of gray to add depth and flavor to the world. The story was interesting enough to hold my attention but I can only recommend this film to people who are looking for alternate, more adult animated fare.

White Zombie (1932)

This movie had the misfortune to come out in the early talkie years. As a result the dialog is wretched and the sound quality is uneven. There is plenty of interesting atmosphere here, but the film would have been better had it either been a silent film or waited a few years and been produced by Val Lewton. It has an interesting take on zombies, and Bela Lugosi is creepy as always, but the overall effect is still more silly than scary.

Thelma & Louise (1991)

Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis are electric as the titular duo. And while I can’t condone all of their behavior, I couldn’t take my eyes off them. And once again Brad Pitt proves that he is at his best in off-kilter supporting roles.

Inglorious Basterds (2009)

I never find Quentin Tarantino’s films to be boring yet I rarely find them entertaining. Though they are all high energy thrill rides they almost always leave me feeling cold. This film is no exception. While I can admire the craft that went into making the movie, Tarantino fills the film with so many unlikable characters that I never feel good about rooting for any of them.

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953)

This film has plenty of laughs, a couple good musical numbers, and lots of entertainment in between. There’s not much to distinguish it from the other Technicolor musicals of its day but there’s plenty of fun to be had.

Coming up next: the final six.

My 2010 Movie Odyssey - Part XXIII

The Hurt Locker (2008)

This is a truly intense tale of three soldiers whose job is to defuse roadside bombs in Iraq. Director Kathryn Bigelow deftly conducts the disarming of each new bomb so that each one has its own brand of terror.

(500) Days of Summer (2009)

I really enjoyed this unconventional romantic comedy and I really wish more romantic comedies would end like this one as it would make them much more believable.

Point Break (1991)

Since I really enjoyed The Hurt Locker, I was interested in checking out some of the other films in the Kathryn Bigelow canon. Unfortunately, this one was a major disappointment. It starts out interestingly enough with police officer Keanu Reeves going undercover to solve a series of bank robberies, but it meanders too long in the second act with endless scenes of surfing and I hated the ending. Even though he was extremely charismatic, I disagreed with almost everything beach bum Patrick Swayze had to say; if everyone lived by his philosophy, nothing would ever get done.

Red (2010)

Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Morgan Freeman, and Helen Mirren look really cool and blow lots of stuff up. Really, what more needs to be said about this popcorn piece?

Timecrimes (2007)

The trailer had me intrigued and I’m always interested in low-budget science fiction. However, the time travel elements did not work for me with effects constantly causing the causes and the main character is almost completely unsympathetic.

Coming up next: the penultimate movie odyssey post for 2010.

My 2010 Movie Odyssey - Part XXII

The Running Man (1987)

Arnold Schwarzenegger beats up a bunch of silly bad guys, spouts a series of one-liners, and is generally very manly as he runs around. There’s also some sort of futuristic game show involved as well.

Despicable Me (2010)

This is a cute movie that, while it only made me laugh out loud a couple times, had me smiling through most of it, and never had me smacking my forehead. It is mostly enjoyable but largely forgettable outside of the thousands of little yellow minions who always manage to get themselves in trouble.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

This is a movie that exists solely to show epic video game style fight sequences. The story that strings them together is rather inconsequential and none of the characters are particularly compelling or likeable, but the visual energy makes for an enjoyable, if shallow, ride.

The Good German (2006)

While I can appreciate director Steven Soderbergh’s attempt to evoke the films of the 40s (and George Clooney looks great in black and white), the whole thing felt too much like a deconstructionist version of Casablanca for me to truly embrace it (and Tobey Maguire looked completely out of place in black and white).

Alice (2009)

This new take on Alice in wonderland is more flat than wonderful.

My 2010 Movie Odyssey - Part XXI

A Town Called Panic (2009)

This is a movie that is very difficult to describe. It is a stop-motion animated film with cheap plastic toys as the main characters. Cowboy, Indian, and Horse are roommates. Horse's birthday is tomorrow and Cowboy and Indian are bound and determined to get him the perfect gift. What follows is a madcap romp featuring a mountain of bricks, fishmen, a tunnel to the center of the earth, and a gigantic robotic penguin. The film was endearing as I watched it, yet became more and more awesome the more I thought about it afterwards.

Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ (1925)

While the 1959 film is the definitive version of the story, there is still plenty of good stuff here in the silent one. There is some early Technicolor for film history buffs, a thrilling sea battle, and a heart wrenching scene where Ben-Hur's mother, diseased with leprosy, comes across the sleeping form of her son. Unable to touch him because she is unclean, she tearfully hugs and caresses his shadow, the only part of him she can touch.

The Last Airbender (2010)

This is a gorgeous movie. The production design is amazing, the effects are stellar, and the action sequences are thrilling and inventive (and some of the best depictions of using magic I have seen on screen). And then there is the script. It is a mess. It jumps all over the place, full of clunky dialog and free of interesting characters. Most of the exposition is presented in painful speeches although most of the time there is never any clear reason why anyone is doing anything. This film should get Oscar nominations for art direction and visual effects, and a Razzie nomination for worst screenplay.

Knight and Day (2010)

Tom Cruise was fun and Cameron Diaz was cute, but the body count was far too high for me to really get behind these two characters. (And it also didn’t help that the maguffin in the movie looks an awful lot like the atomic battery I used in a student film ten years ago.)

Never Too Young to Die (1986)

This is epic 80s cheese. It has cliched power ballads over the opening and closing credits, over the top villains, laughable dialog, absurd action sequences, and stars John Stamos as a gymnast. And yet, the worse it gets, the more fun it is to watch.

My 2010 Movie Odyssey - Part XX

TMNT (2007)

While I appreciate the attempt to do something interesting with the characters, and Mako as the voice of Splinter was inspired, the whole thing came off more silly than awesome. I'd really like to see a darker, grittier reboot of the Turtles movies along the lines of Batman Begins.

Toy Story 3 (2010)

Toy Story 2 is one of my favorite films of all time. As in top 20. Maybe top 10. So Toy Story 3 had a lot to live up to. While not quite as good as its predecessor, Toy Story 3 is still quite good. The wizards at Pixar deftly juggled Toy Story's huge cast of characters as well as half a dozen new ones. The story delves into themes just touched on in Toy Story 2, dealing with what happens to toys when their owner outgrows them. There are thrilling chases, plenty of laughs, and an exquisitely orchestrated "prison break." And while the action climax may fall short of previous Pixar efforts, the final scene packs such an emotional wallop that any faults the film may have are instantly forgotten.

Robin Hood (2010)

There were some fun action sequences and I suppose I appreciate Ridley Scott's attempt to put the Robin Hood stories into a more realistic setting, but they spent so much time trying to put Robin Hood into a historical framework that the Robin Hood of myth and legend all but disappeared.

How to Train Your Dragon (2010)

I saw the trailers (and teaser spots during the Olympics) and nothing really grabbed me. "This is just another in the long line of lackluster Dreamworks ilk," I thought. But then everyone started raving about this movie and I felt that I had to see it. I have rarely been so happy to be wrong. The film is full of engaging characters and the humor doesn't cater to the lowest common denominator. The story went in some unexpected places and the resolution was completely satisfying. The only real complaint I have with the movie is that so much time is spent at the beginning talking about how Vikings kill dragons because dragons kill Vikings, it would have been nice to drive that point home by actually showing an onscreen death of a Viking or a dragon.

Inception (2010)

I don't know how he keeps doing it, but Christopher Nolan has hit it out of the park again. This is essentially a con man/heist movie, but it masquerades so well as a trippy mind game movie that the audience is willingly taken in. There is eye candy galore, thrilling action sequences, and a wonderfully executed zero-g hallway battle.

My 2010 Movie Odyssey - Part XIX

The Family Man (2000)

It’s supposed to be It’s a Wonderful Life for the new millennium, but I found some of the characters difficult to swallow and I thought it downright cruel to send Nicholas Cage to an alternate reality for so long only to yank him back once he got comfortable.

High School Musical (2006)

There are some catchy tunes and a couple bits of inventive choreography that make for a pretty good made-for-TV musical.

Cutthroat Island (1995)

Geena Davis is woefully miscast in this mess. She is far too quiet and mousy to be believable as a bloodthirsty pirate queen. None of the characters are interesting or likeable in any way, and all attempts at humor fall flat. And then there are the action sequences which have so little regard for the laws of physics that they lose any semblance of credibility.

Gojira (1954)

This movie is much better sans dubbing and Raymond Burr. Godzilla is downright scary, partly due the to the fact that we don’t actually see him until half way through the film. His immense size and incredible strength make him a virtually indestructible killing machine, and that is before he unleashes his radioactive breath. The scenes showing the aftermath of his destruction are shocking and grim, on par with the best war movies. There is a love story that is little more than filler and the means of Godzilla’s demise are classic B-movie silly science, but when it comes to pure terrifying destruction, Godzilla can’t be beat.

Julie & Julia (2009)

This is a light, mostly entertaining piece starring the always radiant Amy Adams as a woman who has taken it upon herself to cook everything in Julia Child's cookbook. This story is intercut with the story of Meryl Streep as Julia Child, on her journey to becoming Julia Child. It took me a while to get used to Julia Child's unorthodox voice, but overall it was a pleasant movie. Warning: Do not watch this film on an empty stomach. I was very hungry by the time it ended.

Coming up next: three of the most critically acclaimed movies of last year.

My 2010 Movie Odyssey - Part XVIII

Blood Diamond (2006)

I wanted to like this movie but I just could not get into it. Leonardo DiCaprio was unconvincing as a gritty smuggler and his African accent was inconsistent and never believable. The plot was predictable the whole way though and the film was too full of itself to be entertaining.

Shutter Island (2010)

Why does Leonardo DiCaprio insist on playing gritty characters? His face is too boyish and his voice too high pitched to be convincing. He was perfect for Catch Me if You Can; why doesn’t he do more light-hearted fare? The film was still mostly entertaining, though I figured out what was really going on pretty quickly.

Mimic (1997)

This is little more than a standard monster-kills-everyone-off-one-by-one movie, though the monsters are pretty inventive and creepy.

From Russia with Love (1963)

Dr. No is the first official James Bond movie, but this is the first one to feature all the tropes we’ve come to expect of 007: globe-trotting, secret villainous societies, and cool gadgets. It’s fun, but there’s little that makes it stand out from the rest of the Bond films (which all run together for me).

Scream (1996)

Maybe I would have appreciated it more if I had seen more of the classic slasher movies. As it is, I never really got into this affectionate send-up of the slasher genre.

My 2010 Movie Odyssey - Part XVII

AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004)

The Alien franchise is full of scares, a sense of dread, and lots of R-rated violence. The lesser Predator franchise is full of new and interesting weapons that do lots of R-rated violence. Alien vs. Predator is full of uninteresting characters, silly ideas, and a distinct lack of R-rated violence. What's so important about the R-rated violence? It's an in-your-face demonstration of how powerful and dangerous the Aliens and Predators are. Tame the violence, tame the monster. And then there is an imprisoned Alien queen and a Predator that has to get assistance from a human that further serve to defang the monsters. And what's with all these Aliens being on earth to begin with? One of the major issues of all four Alien films is "We can't let this thing get to earth. Ever." But apparently they were here all along. Yet all the damage this movie does to its parent franchises could be overlooked if it was any good. Unfortunately, the characters are little more than cardboard cutouts, spending most of their time running around a pyramid so full of perils and booby traps that it never achieves even a modicum of believability. And what’s with the pyramid? Apparently, thousands of years ago the Predators came to earth and taught ancient civilizations how to build pyramids because there is no way humans could have figured out how to build something as massive as the pyramids with stone age technology. What a dim view of human ingenuity.

Monsters vs Aliens (2009)

Dreamworks is getting better. This film is quite entertaining, features amusing characters and some interesting locations, and never really devolves into the strings of references that plague earlier Dreamworks efforts. There isn't a whole lot that's truly memorable in the film but it is quite fun while it lasts.

Iron Man 2 (2010)

While it lacks some of the heart from the first one, Iron Man 2 is still a rip-roaring ride with lots of cool visuals and a still electric Robert Downey Jr. in the title role.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (1982)

The Tim Burton film, while beautiful, is grim, grim, grim. This filmed stage production starring Angela Lansbury is far more entertaining. It is still grim, but the grimness is balanced out by a heavy dose of dark humor. Seeing the stage production made me understand why someone would want to make a movie out of it.

For Your Consideration (2006)

This indictment of Hollywood’s tendency to do almost anything for an award would be funny if it wasn’t so sad.

Coming up next: a Leonardo DiCaprio double feature.

My 2010 Movie Odyssey - Part XVI

Well, with the combination of the holidays, spending time with family, and going to my grandfather's funeral, I lost all the momentum I had built up. I still have about ten more movie odyssey entries to post (half of which still need to be written). Oh well. No rest for the procrastinator.

Grizzly Man (2005)

This documentary tells the story of Timothy Treadwell, a man who decided to spend much of his time living in the wild alongside bears, foxes, and other critters. What starts out as a portrait of an interesting character who has dedicated his life to studying these animals quickly becomes a look at a man who is losing his touch with reality, wilfully forgetting that bears are dangerous wild animals. He seems to care more for the bears than the people in his life, and every time he says “I love you” to one of the animals, it is downright unsettling.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

Is it as good as the first two X-Men movies? No. Does it bring new insight to the character of Wolverine? Hardly. Does it have some good action sequences? Absolutely! The film is mostly mindless fun and an enjoyable way to spend 100 minutes. Just don’t go in with high expectations.

Synecdoche, New York (2008)

Weird gets piled on top of more weird and is then blanketed with a layer of surreal in this film from Charlie Kaufman. There are some engaging set pieces and ends with some interesting thoughts on life. The main problem is with the first half of the movie. It bites off more than it can chew, trying to tell too much story in too little time. The story jumps around and I was never really aware of how much time supposedly had passed and I had difficulty keeping track of the main character’s relationships to different characters as they popped in and out of his life. The second half has lots of wonderful strangeness, but the first half is a chore to get through, almost ruining the whole movie.

Hamlet (2009)

This is the first time I’ve actually enjoyed a version of Hamlet. David Tennant breathes life into the title character instead of merely spouting off words that sound good (as too many actors doing Shakespeare are wont to do). His madness scenes were fun and yet I found myself actually listening to him during his many soliloquies instead of reaching for the fast forward button. Of course Patrick Stewart is wonderful as Claudius (after all, he’s great in everything he touches) but the real gem here is Oliver Ford Davies as Polonius who plays the character as a lovably senile old man who caused me to laugh in almost every scene he was in.

The Happening (2008)

The movie starts out promising as the people of New York City start killing themselves in the quickest, most efficient ways possible. The scene is creepy and even a little funny in a morbid sort of way. But things quickly go downhill. We are introduced to a science teacher played by Mark Wahlberg who is going through some sort of marital problems with his wife played by Zooey Deschanel. The screenplay skirts around their problems so much that we never really know what is wrong with their marriage, and both characters are so uninteresting that by the time we do get some sort of explanation we just don’t care. But our intrepid couple do not have much time to dwell on their issues, because whatever caused the New Yorkers to start killing themselves is spreading across the east coast, quickly making its way to where they are. Whatever it is appears to be airborne, so they find themselves running away from the wind. That’s right, The Wind. Scary. The group of people Marky Mark escapes with depletes faster than the cast of a Roland Emmerich film and soon the hapless couple and the girl they are babysitting are the only ones left. And then a completely different movie starts as they find themselves at an isolated farmhouse inhabited by a crazy lady. None of the characters are interesting and every new turn the plot takes is more ridiculous than the last. I usually try to be very sensitive about spoilers, but at times the big twist or explanation at the end is so absurd, so laughable, so idiotic that I feel like I am doing my audience a favor by spoiling it. This is one of those instances, for the thing causing all this mayhem and death is not some sort of biological weapon or terrorist attack that several characters theorize, but plants conspiring against humanity to release deadly toxins that are only harmful to humans. The more I try to wrap my head around this explanation, the more ludicrous it becomes. See? I told you I was doing you a favor.

Coming up next: a couple versus movies.